I am finding out new things about me every day. Most have to do with the fact that I am getting old. But I hope that as I get older I am getting better in some way or another. After all, the whole idea of the gospel is that we are here to learn and grow. So if I have been doing anything right then my getting older should also mean that I have improved in at least something in all of these years. I remember writing a poem when Sherri was born saying something about all that was ahead of her in her life and that I wasn't going to stop because I also had much ahead for me. It's hard to really gauge that improvement and our tendency is to downplay what progress we might have made. But getting older somehow makes that a little easier and I am starting to see that it becomes a more important part of our lives to want to be different and better. I am continually amazed at myself when I notice something that is different about me. Like tonight for instance. Here I was sitting in my office watching a bowl game on TV. All of a sudden I realized that my interest was gone, and I knew that there was something that I could do that would be a better use of my time. So I turned the TV off and got here to the computer to make this entry, and then I will go upstairs and read or study or maybe spend some time with my lovely wife. I've done work enough for the day. I have also found that quiet time for myself can be very rewarding.
I was glad to see that I have 2 followers to this blog of mine. But I won't be happy until the rest of the family joins in. I also am anxious for some feedback and direction from you as to what you want me to write. Surely we haven't told you everything about our lives. I am also wondering what interesting thing about 2011 would be newsworthy. I am really stretching for ideas. Please respond and give me an idea.
Do I need to tell how wonderful your mother (grandmother) is? I marvel at this partner of mine. I feel such gratitude for the blessing she is to me. She goes from President to Sunbeam teacher with the same demeanor. And she lives to do for you anything that she can. ( and for me) I want so much to be able to give her everything that she deserves, but I cannot. I will forever be in debt to her just as I will forever be indebted to my Heavenly Father for all that He has given me. That is a difficult thing to acknowledge because we like to think that we somehow earn our way, but in most cases we will always come up short. All I can do is know the truth of it all, and sometimes express it properly and truthfully.
The whole idea of always improving is something that I have always struggled with. It implys that we are never good enough so we have to always work harder to be better. I understand the concept, but it is all about finding a balance. Accepting that we are doing the best we can, but also working to improve ouselves. I think that it is a hard balance to find.
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