I had decided to not watch the Jazz/Celtics game tonight. I knew that there was no way that the Jazz could win.  But I switched back and forth and when they actually made a game of it I hung around hoping that I was wrong.  In the end the Celtics did win and even though a call or two should have gone the other way (in my humble opinion) the better team did win.   I did feel a little down with that outcome, but after seeing so many games over so many years I find it easier and easier not to get upset about a lose when I wanted a win.  (I say that now, but when BYU loses .......)  I do try to figure out why I care.  Sometimes I watch to see a team lose (like the Miami Heat) and I can feel just as bad when they win.  But that too is silly because I don't have anything to do with that either.  This whole business of being a fan is really overblown.  It just doesn't matter.  So if it really doesn't matter why does it raise my heart rate and actually change how I feel?  What is it that really goes on when I watch some game and actually care how it will end?  I have tried to evaluate this whole concept of competitiveness that is so prevalent in our culture.  Usually it is held out as something good.  Maybe it is.  And maybe it isn't.  I guess it depends of other related factors. I do remember times in my life when I lost my temper and really did some stupid things that I am embarrassed to think about.  It is not easy to completely rise above those kinds of things.  We can have fun with it and think that it is not a problem, but I wonder if just feeling a little badly when things don't go my way is not acceptable.  Just how much should it matter to me if 'my' team wins or loses?  I really have so many things that are far more important going on in my life so is it still okay to just enjoy this or should I completely leave it for something better?  And what is better? And can I completely leave it? I certainly have changed over the years in this regard.  How should I be and how will I be in another 5 or 10 years?  Any ideas?

President Uchtdorf has a sense of humor

I just finished a lengthy conversation with my brother Doug.  As you know he has been called as a mission president.  I was pleased to receive his call and I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask him.  So I did.  He was gracious enough to answer all of them.  I want to relay a lot of that information to you because I think that it is not only informative but interesting.  Sorry, but his children will be living in their house for the next 3 years.  But he did say that he is not retiring but will return to his firm in 3 years and that they will need some help in the work load until he does come back.  (PHIL)  They do 'public accounting' and if that is interesting to you then give them a call and see whats-up.  I was interested in the process that began last August with the area 70.  Then in November they interviewed with President Packer.  Then they were called into interview with President Uchtdorf. (Enough time elapsed between those that worry ensued as well as 2nd guessing.)
He pulled a joke on them by asking Doug about his Japanese and then asked Lynette if she spoke German.  In the paperwork they had already sent in they expressed preference for an English speaking assignment.  It was a bit unsettling for them (especially Lynette)  to think that they might not get it.  He played it to the very end of the interview by referring to both Japanese and German again before at the very last good bye he assured them that the assignment when it came would be English speaking.  It didn't ease their mind about going abroad though and that wasn't settled until they finally received 'the letter' in February.  I learned a lot of other stuff about the process and the '2 hour over lap training time' with the outgoing mission president. I know we all wish them well in this new calling.

CLARIFICATION:  I usually do not shave but once a week.  One recent notable exception was when I was asked to accompany my oldest grandson to an open house of a prestigous eastern university on a
Saturday night. BUT I also do not shower everyday.  But rest assured that it does occur more often then once a week.  Your mother and grandmother makes sure of that.

I'm starting to go into basketball overload.  But it isn't quite the same because the one game that I wanted to watch was earlier today and I was able to see almost all of it after the twins birthday party.  Well, it took about all that I had.  After that it was just going through the motions.  My BYU team played its biggest game to date and I was really in to it.  I was offered pizza at half-time, but I could not eat.  I got as excited about a game as I have in years.  And I was really happy to watch them win.  Earlier in the week I had watched the 'experts' pick the winner and they all picked San Diego State.  The Y is just not athletic enough.  (You know what that really means, don't you?)  So when the game ended near 2-2:30 I was pretty much done for the day.  Because I wanted to be productive for the day I did do a couple of tasks.  I made choir phone calls and I spent time preparing for my priesthood lesson for tomorrow.  But I will go to bed early because I am wiped out and because I will have an early morning in order to be ready for choir practice after showering and shaving. (My normal once a week ritual.)  I was fortunately to have Sheila cut my hair this afternoon.  I was really getting shaggy and I did want to look 'un-shaggy' tomorrow.  Our ward choir is singing in church and I know I won't do very well and as a choir we are pretty average.  But it is something I have to do even though I don't actually enjoy it as much as I used to. ( I can't sing as well as I used to either.)
Then I have to finish off my home teaching with two visits tomorrow.  That will be a good and productive way to fill my Sunday with good Sunday stuff.  It will be nice to not think about work and try and think about the things one should think about on a Sunday.  Its is hard to believe that February is virtually over with.  Here we are at day # 57 with 208 days left in 2011.  That means that in 235 day I will be 65 years old.  So you only have that long to properly save and shop for my present.

'See ya buddy'  That's pretty  much the story of today too.  She did not leave until just before 3 but here it is 9:12 and she's  not home.  I'm not sure when to expect her.  I do think that she will probably call before she leaves Eagle Mountain, but maybe not.  I will continue my day's end ritual and probably be upstairs reading or studying when she gets home.  In the morning we will have to leave by 9:30 if not before to get to the twins birthday party.  Then I want to get back to watch as much of the BYU ball game as possible and then I don't know what the rest of the day will bring.  I've had enough of time off the last couple of days so I really want to keep busy and get something done.  It won't be work, because that will be left  until Monday, but I don't feel very good about myself when I waste too much time.  A little--well that's all right, but too much bothers me.  I kind of like having some time to myself and when she is doing something really good I take pleasure in believing that I share in that service.  But even that can get a bit old after a while.  So I will try and be creative and actually do something that is not work, but is as productive as work.  I know that I need to get my barber-wife to cut my hair.  I also do have an unwritten list of things that I have thought about doing before but I never got around to it.  I know I can think of something if I put my mind to it.  But I am just a lazy bum at times, and I leave things undone and then feel badly that I did.

I hear the floor creaking upstairs so either there is a burglar or she forgot to call and just got home.  Ahhh!  There she is.  My whole world is better now.  I will end this and spend some time with my wife and learn about her evening.  Later gator.

"See ya buddy"  That's what she said to me.  "See ya buddy."  I had simply asked Sheila about her schedule for tomorrow  "See ya buddy."  Its been like that a lot this week.  This wife of mine is a busy person.  Tomorrow she'll be tied up in the morning making funeral potatoes for a funeral in our ward house for a lady that isn't (wasn't) really in our ward.  Supposedly she was active and lived in our boundaries, but if she was active it was somewhere else.  Anyway its ours now.  Then she will leave before 3 to have a play date in Eagle Mountain with the three 'A' -migos.  And it will also include the rest of the evening to give Shauni and Jeff time for a date of their own.  Tuesday was like that.  And today was pretty much that way too. She was away most of the afternoon and then helped Sharon be in two places at the same time and she did not get home until almost 7:30.  With her not babysitting the Nova Scotia trio (except for Monday night) she's taken advantage of her time and been off on her own a lot.  Of course what she will end up doing tomorrow depends on the weather.  If what 'they' say really happens the way that 'they' say it will happen she may not go anywhere.  It may also affect me too because if it snows as much as 'they' say I may just curl up into a ball and hide under my blanket.  I am really tired of this cold winter weather.  I know it won't last too much longer, but the older I get the less I like it. I went outside a while ago to see what it was doing.  There was no snow or rain.  In fact, there wasn't any cloud cover.  But that can change in a moment and is supposed to before morning.  When I was younger and had to make my living on the road it didn't bother me too much.  But I am glad that I don't have to go out there if I don't want too.  (I make Richard do it!)  For now all I can say is: 'See ya buddy!"

I had to get up early this morning because Marv was going to be here around 7:30 a.m.  So I got here in my office and just got to work.  I was able to keep busy until about 4 or so.  Then when I got all of my 'timely' stuff done I sort of went on vacation.  I was looking to 6 when the BYU game came on and had even asked our home teachers to come after the game was over.  I had neglected to shower when I got up to be in the office early and it was okay until now when I am starting to relax after being hyper during the game.  I am feeling kind of sticky and icky so I will need to shower in the morning.  (I don't do that every morning.)   Our home teachers did come around 8:30 pm and we gabbed and gabbed until 10.  Now I'm trying to come down from the ball game high as well as from the gospel discussion high, and it is hitting me quite hard.  It's like this wave of exhaustion and now I feel so tired.  I am tempted to stay up even later and work, but I know I won't. (I know I can't.)  I try to leave stuff on the desk to give me a good start in the morning of my day.  I do that to use the LAW OF INERTIA.  I have learned that getting my self to get moving is the hardest part of most tasks.  So if I leave something easy to begin with it really helps me to get going.  Once I get my self going it is a lot easier to keep going.  Being self-employed does present lots of unique challenges.  It does have advantages, but apparently it is not for every one.  I sometimes feel sorry for folks who have to leave home and put in their hours working for someone else somewhere else.  But I have to admit that there have been times when that sounded like a pretty good idea.  I sometimes wonder if things changed so that I had to do that if I could do it, or would I go crazy?  Or maybe I already am crazy. 

Let's see.  Andrea, Adrian, Amy, Armoir, Andi, Alexandra and Aphrodite--there are some choices for Shauni and Jeff now that they know that #23 is female.  Not as many options when you have established a pattern.  But I'm sure that they will come up with the perfect name for their new little one. 

I was on my own a lot today.  Sheila was up at 4 and off to the temple and then she had a dinner date with Lora and Sandra.  I had to fend for myself and then she made me do my rounds because she was tired and needed to take a nap.  Poor little me!

I actually was able to slow down today because I was caught up in my work, but what a difference a day makes.  Tomorrow looks like it's be more then I can get done in a single day.  That is a good thing though.

I do have all sorts of stuff going on in my head, but I can't think of anymore to write.  So:  Good Night.

Here's another way to look at it (I'm referring to Shelli's comments about my last entry).  Russ and Sherri are approaching the reward period of time when they see their first born son go out into the world and prove by his success the kind of wonderful parents that they have been and are.  Sharon will finally get some resolution and be able to move on and beyond this distressing time caused by the infidelity of her former friend.  Grandma and Crystal are continuing to rebuild the connection between them.  Robert is starting his new job for real after his training, and he really likes it, and Cicily is finding ways to be successful as a stay at home  mom, and liking that.  I think that Russ and Sherri got a new truck just today, but I'll have to wait and see if that is true.  The new grand child (#23) will bring with it it's own love.  And Richard and Kathy will settle into things just as the rest of us have, and I think they have or will have gotten themselves a new car too, having been forced into that 'blessing'.  Sharolyn is tough and she won't let this deal slow her down too much.  And as for Shelli and Phil I really believe that tough challenges bring wonderful blessings.  So they, along with the rest of us must have wonderful things to look forward to. Sheila tells me that as she has just read this paragraph that I need to make sure that you understand that I am writing this in a most positive tone.  Sure I clutter my mind with 'what if games' and I wonder all the time about what might or might not happen.  But I conclude that I am really quite positive.  In fact, as I see life 'in the long run' I am totally positive.  After all of the sermons and lessons and talks about trials, challenges and opposition and tests and tragedy I am starting to see them as just part of life.  And, in fact, a required part of life.  Kind of like raising children.  They come with all of that built in, and I wouldn't trade any of you for an easy life.   And I hope that as all of us meet those kinds of things that we will continue to be there for each other as I believe we are now.  I thrill to see the way that you support each other and we want you to know that we will do the same for any of you if you allow it to happen.  Forever families have a 'now' too.

Today has seemed quite strange to me.  I can't say that the day was strange because it was a better then normal Sunday.  But I have felt strange.  I have felt tired but mostly I have felt distracted.  The thoughts that came to me last night at that open house I attended with Nicholas have had an almost haunting affect on me.  It seems that I am living this deal that Nicholas is going through in my dreams.  I wonder what my life would have been like if I had had such an opportunity presented to me when I was his age.  I haven't second guessed myself before and I'm not sure that that is what I am doing now, but it has got me thinking about something that I haven't thought about before.  Our decisions have such a permanent effect on us.  In a way it isn't fair and in that same way I know that we can recover from bad decisions, but questions are fair when trying to understand where we are, how we got there and what might the future hold for us.  But the thing at the heart of this distraction is to see that in a way I am at a very similar cross road in my life now.  Here we are, Sheila and me.  Our kids are raised and gone from the 'nest' and we wonder just what it is that we need to be doing now.  We wonder how much, if any, real influence we have on our family right now.  We have talked about a mission from the beginning, but our circumstances don't seem to make that a feasible option.  What is it that we should be doing, and is 'it' a drastic thing or just a bit of a tweak in our habits or lifestyle that needs to happen?  Maybe all of us have similar questions and not just Nicholas and us.  But I haven't seen it that way before the last little while. Does that sound something like a 'mid-life crisis'? If so I thought I had gotten over that in my 40's.  Whatever it is it weighs on my mind.  It isn't a bad thing to wonder about, but it sure is a distraction.

You don't have to do just work to get you tired. I didn't do any normal office work today and I am really worn out after my day.  Its all been grand-parenting. And I slept in until 8 this morning and have had a leisurely day for the most part.  But driving to Ogden and back and then driving to Highland in Utah County and back were pretty tiring.  We haven't been to any of Spencer's basketball games.  So with 2 of them scheduled for today we decided it was time.  So off we drove near 10 am.  We did enjoy the games watching Spencer perform well and his team won both handily.  We drove home and I watched the rest of the BYU game and Sheila went grocery shopping.  Then I did something most unusual for a Saturday.  I showered and shaved!  Nicholas had an open house to attend in Highland for Southern Virginia University and I needed to look nice.  Both Sherri and Russ had a commitment at the high school ball game so Nicholas had asked me to go with him.  I felt good to be asked and it was an interesting evening.  I'm not sure what it all will mean to Nicholas but it has to be a fun place to be in to have those kinds of choices.  It would be nice to be at that time of life again and he has so  much in his future.  If I could go back and do it again....well, I can't so just quit it.


I read in the church news this morning that my brother Doug has been called to be a mission president.  He will preside over the Washington Tacoma Mission.  That stirred lots of emotion.  I am happy to say that it is mostly positive.  It is a good thing for him.  Makes me wonder a little about me though.  I'm certainly not complaining, just wondering.

I wonder if what I do is special or if its just something that anybody could do.  Maybe 'would' do is the right word.  Did I choose a life that others would want or is everybody so different that they all eventually fall into something special to them?  I know that in my case I spent many years of our married life trying to figure out just what I wanted to do and I went through a lot of different phases and jobs and periods before I got comfortable with what I ended up doing now for the past 36 years.  It wasn't until about 1975 after we got home from our 5 months in Japan that I settled in my mind how I wanted to make my living.  And even then it was kind of a compromise because even yet I haven't gotten it absolutely right.  I like to express it this way:  "I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up."  (But this will do until something better comes along.)  My life does meet most of the criteria that I have thought up over the years.  But it isn't perfect.  I could list lots of things that I would like to be able to do differently or things that I would love to eliminate.  But lots of those are things that can only be addressed in another life and in a better world.  So limiting myself to this time and this place I accept that there are things that I would like to have and do differently, but what I do have and do do isn't all that bad. What is work to one may not be play to another, but it it isn't really work either.  I learned early and often that physical labor isn't for me.  What I like to do some call 'busy work' but lots of little tasks with lots of details I find almost fun.  Work is a little like eating.  No matter how much you enjoy the taste of the meal before long you will be hungry again and need to eat.  So life becomes an exercise in repetition that can drive you crazy or become a satisfying routine depending on the attitude that you take.  I like that way that it is expressed in what is called 'The Serenity Prayer'.  GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS  I CAN, AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. I hope that at my age I now have a little bit of all three.

The power has been on all day long.  So life has been pretty much normal and we are back to taking things for granted.  We get so used to the easy life that we live that a little power outage throws us off of our game.  I have to say though that we handled it pretty well last night.  But the things that really affect me are when bad things happen to my family.  It bothered me the other day when Sharon had her car break down.  I feel a little better now that it isn't quite as bad as it was.  But I know what it can be like.  Then Robert and Cicily are having car problems of their own.  Then today Richard's car broke.  I'm waiting for Sherri or Shelli or Shauni to have the same thing happen.  Our own car isn't all I wish it was.  But life goes on.  Even with his car problems it was good for me to have Richard back to work.  Even with him back for 2 days of work this week it will still be sort of a wash.  So I am looking to next week to be back to what I call normal.  In fact, right now I have lots of work and I like that more then not having lots of work.  I need to be busy to be happy.  That way I can be happy when I am not busy because I have been working so hard because I am busy so I enjoy the time off when I take it.  We learned that Nicholas did not advance in his Sterling Scholar thing.  It would have been nice, but we are proud of him for the kind of young man that he is.  It is neat how one can actually take pleasure out of just knowing the goodness in another.  In fact, that's what I aspire to be:  someone that can make others feel better about life just because good people associate with other good people and they sort of breed goodness between them.  I hope that you know what I am talking about and I also hope that you know people like that.  I know that you ARE people like that.  And that's what I want to be too.  It is a very real thing this goodness radiating goodness.  In fact, it may be the most real of all things.

This takes the place of Sednesday night!!

It's 8:19 a.m. on Thursday night.  It's not like I forgot to write last night.  It was a circumstance beyond my control.  Our power went out (a couple of times) and it was out for over 3 hours.  I could have written in a notebook or something, but I made the decision to do it this morning and hope you will forgive me. Sheila sat upstairs in the dark and commented on the fact that it came at a better time as we were done with our dinner and even though it did interrupt her dish washer and her washing the clothes it was not a bad thing.  We used our flashlight for a while and then decided to check out our emergency kit.  I found my hand cranked radio and got it out so I could listen to the Jazz game.  I promptly broke it.  Then we broke (an interesting example of the various meaning and uses for the same word) out the new items that Sheila had put into the kit.  She got a hand-motion generated flash light and I got the radio-alarm-flashlight gizmo that did work and I listened to a bit of the 1st half of that game.  But it got quiet tiring and so at half time I decided to call it a day and read my chapter by flashlight, do my push ups in the dark and of course pray IS light, but doesn't need light.  Sheila stayed u0p and the power did come back on after 9 ( was in bed around 8:30 p.m.)  We assume that today Richard will be here for a 'normal' workday and I will try to work steadily throughout the day and be productive.We have plans for Saturday so we will work hard until then and then spend some time in Ogden.(hint hint).  We hope that Richard and Kathy really enjoyed there honeymoon and we look forward to hearing about (some of) it.  TIME TO PUT OUT THE GARBAGE

For the 2nd time this week I have come across something in the newspaper very closely related to our family.  On Sunday I was reading the letters to the editor of the Deseret Morning News and I found Shelli's letter.  She had been concerned about state funding for the Utah School for the Deaf and Blind.  In fact, she said that she was angry about possible budget cuts that would seriously affect its operation.  When we called her up to tell her we had read her letter she was surprised because not only had she not seen it, she had no real idea that it would ever be published.  This morning Sheila was approached by a gentleman who works on her shift at the Draper Temple who knew about Colton because he had a grand daughter who was born prematurely too, and they had talked about their grand children.   He had read the letter in the paper and figured out that it was written by our 'Shelli' because his grand daughter is 'Shelbie'.  Anyway, he told Sheila that he had read the letter and thought it to have been well written.  Then this morning while I was reading my paper before I got down to work in the office I came across the section announcing this years Sterling Scholars.  And lo and behold there was Nicholas as big as--well about an inch square.  Sheila said that he looked a little 'sour' when I showed his picture to her when she got back home after her temple shift.  But regardless we took pleasure in seeing him being recognized in that way.  Also, today we were able to hear Linzi tell us about her date.  She was still feeling quite bubbly over her good time last Saturday.  Zach looked quite sickly but that was only because he was sick.

I am happy to announce that Sheila has finally made some progress over her cough, maybe she will keep it up and finally get all better.  That certainly is my wish for her.

I survived my first day without Richard.  I got some things done, but I don't see it as a real productive day.  And I guess the things that happened or did not happen would not have been any different if he had been here, except that he would have made me some money.  But the fact that I only got in one new paper and one small check in the mail would have been the same with or without him.  But the best thing that happened because he was not here was that I took Sheila with me and we stopped for lunch the the Greek Souvlaki uptown and had our gyros.  Sheila has still been suffering with her cough through much of the day.  It has been, dare I say, okay, and tonight when we went to our family home evening group for dinner it was still there but did not force us to come home early.  We ate and then had a lame discussion for our lesson and then our hostess gave each of the men a rose and asked us for some kind of romantic expression for our wives.  I said that love is only a word and needs to be used in the context of appropriate behavior.  I said that one of the ways that I express my love for my wife is to squidgy the shower when I use it.  I know that I don't fit the typical romantic notions at Valentine's Day or at any other time of the year.  I cold plead my case that I am romantic, but that is best left for Sheila and others to judge.  Sheila just called down to say that she was going to bed.  She'll be up at 4 am in the morning to go back to the temple after a two week hiatus.  Me, I'm looking to be awakened, but then I will go back to sleep (I hope) for a few more hours of sleep.   Then my hopes for my day number two without Richard are not very high.  There is just too much to do for me to be very productive.  So in a way it does feel a little like a vacation, at least a working vacation.

GRANDMA'S CORNER

We all made it through another day!!  I stayed home from stake conference because of my cough.  I would love to wake up in the morning and be all better.  Miracles can happen right?  

 Linzi had her first date yesterday.  I haven't talked to her yet but I hope it was great and just what she wanted it to be.
I talked with Sharolyn and found out that she had an accident at work.  She got her hand caught in the conveyor belt.  Her finger was not broken but badly injured.  But of course true to Sharolyn she went back to work the next night.  She is a tough lady.   
Today while I was cleaning up after dinner your dad was reading the paper.  He said" Shelli Rosbach".  We were surprised to see that Shelli wrote her view as a mother of a deaf son and was published in today's Deseret News.
When we called her she was also surprised because even though she wrote her opinion she did not believe she would be published.  Way to go girl !!!!
Richard and Kathy are on their honeymoon for a few days.
Dad and I hope you have a fun Valentines Day!
I am going to turn the computer over to your dad and try to put my cough to bed.  Love to all of you   MOM

Sheila left it up to me to finish so I will just add on to what she wrote.  You can all read Shelli's letter to the editor in today's Deseret Morning News.  It was their 'lead letter' and very well written.  I, too, and getting very tired of hearing my wife cough.  I don't know what she can do since she's tried all kinds of things.  I know that my own cough has hung on for weeks now, but it isn't nearly as bad as her cough is.

I am anxious about this coming week.  It will be something new to me.  With Richard not here for the next 3 days my work routine will be something that I haven't been faced with for years.  I know that it won't be simply a matter of me doing his job.  It will be  much more complicated than that.  I will have to choose how best to use my time and I am not too optimistic that it will even be a normal week.  I expect it to be less and I know that I will not be able to do what I do and what he does even with Sheila's help.  So I will just settle for what I can get done and hope he and Kathy have a good time and then work him as hard as I can when he gets back to work on Thursday.  I also want to hear from you-all as you are doing things or have done stuff this weekend that I am anxious to hear about.  (Linzi)

Even though we both took advantage of our Saturday by sleeping in I want to go to bed early tonight.  I didn't roll out of bed until after 9 and Sheila slept in until after 10.  Her cough has really been persistent and it bothered her a lot during the night.  Then today it hung around and when she finally felt like she could get out of the house to do the grocery shopping she had to cut it short and come back home after just a few  minutes because she had a bad coughing spell at the store.  A couple of hours later she felt good enough to go back and she made it through with just a minor spell.  I  have felt okay, but I'd like to be able to get a little more ahead in my own situation and because we don't have the luxury of being able to sleep in tomorrow if I want to add some time to my sleep it has to be added on at the front.  I have thought about taking tomorrow morning off too with it being stake conference, but I am supposed to sing in  the choir and I really ought to be there anyway.  I hope that Sheila will feel up to it but if she has a night like last night I would support her decision if she decided to stay home.  While she was shopping she got cough drops and some medicine so I hope it all works for her her and she feels up to being there with me even though I'll be looking down on her from my choir seat.


I did get a little bit of work done today.  I like it when I can just get up from my tv chair and walk over to my desk chair and put a little bit of time into work.  For some reason just because it is Saturday my desire to work is not as high as it is on a normal work-week day.  And of course the main event of my day was the BYU basketball game.  I can stick to that for the whole game, but these other games that are on now don't hold my interest and I am leaving at least two of them as I close and go up to prepare to go to bed.  Night.

I sometimes forget that I am old.  I decide to take advantage of an evening when I can stay up late and watch a ball game, and then when I do I find that my body rebels at such a decision.  When I finally turn off the tv and head to the computer to do my journal entry it hits me that it would be nice to just forget it and go to bed.  Then I realize that not only do I have my page to finish I also have to go upstairs and read my chapter do my 38 and then my personal prayer and then prayer with Sheila.  It would be so easy to give up on all of that, but my better self just won't let me do that.  That better self holds me to a higher standard and because I know that it is the right thing to do, I do it. I've failed at enough things during my life to know what it feels like, and in these particularly things there are no circumstances that would prevent me or outside forces that have any say whether I do them or not.  It is just me, and 'me' tells me that I simply have to do them.  I know that I will feel good when they are done. I have done my push ups for over three years.  I only missed a 5 time stretch (that's 2 and 1/2 days) when I had such pain in my shoulder that I could not stand to do them.  Reading scriptures only requires being able to see and praying only requires speaking and thinking (and kneeling) so I have no excuse for giving in on that routine.

I do finally have something interesting to write about because we finally did something interesting .  I surprised Sheila today by making a reservation for dinner at the Rodizio Grill.  We drove to American Fork and enjoyed a slightly exotic meal.  No snake, or alligator and we didn't even eat the spicy chicken.  But it was a nice meal.  Have any of you ever eaten there?   Now for the rest of my nightly ritual..................

Sheila and I have both had a cold for waaay too long.  Mine has gotten much better, but I still have that cough every once in a while.  Sheila's seemed to have gotten better, but keeps coming back.  We had time to sit together tonight to watch a couple of our favorite shows on tv and she even had to leave the room once or twice because of that cough.  Earlier today she reminded me that a year ago this coming weekend she had stayed home from stake conference because of her cough and had sent me to attend by myself.  It might just happen again.  I have improved, but when I go to choir I realize how much better I am not, and how I cannot sing the way that I would like to.  I am wondering if this might be something real serious.  I want so much for her to feel well, and it has lasted a long time.  Right now I hope that she will have a real good night's sleep and be able to take it easy and make progress on getting better.  I wouldn't mind it if I too was able to finally shake off the last bit of my own cold.  Maybe freezing in my office during the day has something to do with that.  I dream about spring and summer.

Last night I did stay up until she got home.  It was near 11:30 p.m.!  And then I had a little office work that I needed to do before I could go to bed.  I have felt the effects of that late night today.  It hasn't slowed me down as I have been working all day long, and I did venture out to do my afternoon rounds, but as the day wore on I have felt my energy being all used up.  I really like the positive things that come with getting older.  You know, like wisdom, and experience and knowing everything and having a mature perspective on life.  But the getting older comes with some negatives too, like colds that seem to last forever, and 'senior moments' and not having the bounce in your step that you once had.  But IT IS WHAT IT IS.

Today was the same, yet it was different.  For me it was pretty much the same, except that I have spent much of it solo.  I got up and into the office and worked all morning.  The afternoon did find me out driving to Sharon's and to the Midvale court doing my rounds.  The difference is that I have been here most of the day all alone.  I am still alone and I don't expect my wife home for maybe another hour.  She has been gone a lot today, and when she was here she was busy with grandmother duties.  It started for her when I woke her up just before 8 a.m..  She had to be up and off to do her visiting teaching by 9:30 a.m.  She got back near noon just in time to go pick up Crystal from school.  That was why I actually had to do my own rounds.  (imagine that)  She made brownies and spent time with our grand daughter who got picked up by her dad before Sheila had to leave again before 4 to drive to Kaysville and do the grandmother thing again. ( I was the beneficiary of some of those brownies as was Robert for after he left I noticed a much larger empty spot in the brownie pan.)   She was in Kaysville because Richard and Kathy and Shell and Phil had a dinner date and then were going to the Jazz game.  That's why I'm still waiting for my wife to get back home. The game did get over about 45 minutes ago.  (the Jazz lost)  I really don't know if I can stay up until she gets home, but I am going to try. I was able to fill my time watching BYU basketball and other ball games and I have provided pretty well for myself by making all three of my meals.  Actually, I can't count cold cereal as 'making' a breakfast meal.  And my lunch was just heating up what she prepared last night, so I can't count that. But dinner was, well, it was a frozen dinner so I can't count it either.  So maybe I wasn't doing today solo, just alone.

My life would probably be a big bore to a lot of other people.  Yesterday I did not leave the house except to go out and pick up the newspaper, go into the back yard to put water in the pond, and out to the mail box to get the mail.  Today was the same except I also drove to Cullimore's office and to Costco to get gas in the car so Sheila can drive off tomorrow.  It looks like tomorrow will be more like yesterday because I won't have a car much.  During these days I spend most of my time in my office working at the computer and at my desk and taking some time to watch some tv and maybe even doze off a time or two.  I have had enough work to keep me quite busy. And I really like my life.  I do admit that sometimes I think about being out in the world or doing things that are more exciting.  I am not adverse to something exciting happening that would be fun to write about to you-all. But until then I am content with my 13 stair commute and my secluded life that keeps me out of trouble and allows me to plod along hopefully doing something worthwhile though boring, and positive without commuter traffic.  I am able to put up with the low level, secluded part of my life because it is contrasted with the every once in a while hectic, crowded events like FHE night last Sunday night.  And I am never far from my family because they are always with me right there on the wall of my office as well as in my memory and my heart (and on the phone or facebook a lot during the week.)  I am a happy camper---never perfectly satisfied, but happy.

Last night when I got done writing  my blog entry I tried to print the page and was disappointed to find my printer was out of ink.  I got up this morning and tried again with the same bad results.  So I tried to fix it by banging the cartridge on the desk in case it still had ink but had just clogged up or something.  It didn't work.  I had to have ink and a working printer to do my work so I went to the store and bought 2 new ink cartridges.  I came home and discovered that I had bought the wrong ones.  My thought from last night echoed through my mind  (IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO IT RIGHT WHEN WILL HAVE TIME TO DO IT OVER) ,but I also thought;  IT IS WHAT IT IS.  (another favorite thought of mine) so I just drove back and corrected the mistake. So after I wasted some time I got the ink changed and got on with my work.  So I guess that if you finally do whatever it takes to do it right all you have wasted is a little time and that seems to go with the test.  IT IS WHAT IT IS AND IT TAKE WHATEVER IT TAKES. I was glad that I didn't have  to go out into today's weather again when it got nasty, and glad that Sheila got back for helping me out with rounds before it turned stormy (and cold).  It actually thundered leading up to the smaller and fast moving snow storm.  Sheila said that it was just announcing her return home.  Any way, I worked my way through my Monday.  I got a few tasks completed, didn't harm anyone particurlarly and didn't hurt myself when I did my 38 push ups this morning.  So if I can say the same after I do my 38 before I go to bed it will have been an okay day.  As much as I enjoyed the quiet of today (I only saw my wife, my son, Richard. and Sheila's visiting teacher.)  I missed the chaos and companionship of family from last night.  It was just fun to have had you here even if you did eat up all of the food and most of the candy.  Sheila fixed me a wonderful foil dinner to eat, and I ate 2 granola bars instead of chocolate for my dessert.  Oh, I notice that it is past my bed time.  later

The house is quiet now.  For the past 5 hours or so it has been what many people would call chaotic.  Me, I just call it: family.  We noticed  the trail of candy wrappers on the stairs, and the toys in the corner of the family room.  Sheila was amazed that all of that food disappeared so quickly. I would have enjoyed some leftovers tomorrow, but I'll be fine with whatever else we have.  All of that doesn't matter because we enjoyed the companionship of our family.  In fact, tonight was the best part of our anniversary celebration.  I had really missed having you around seeing as it was way last year the last time that we got together.  I realize that we are blessed to have you here whenever we can.  We are all so busy that it takes effort and sacrifice for you to join with us even it it is only once a month.  Unless something drastic changes that we look forward to that monthly occasion another 10 times in this year, 2011.  And in years to come we know that things will continue to change as the family changes not only in number, but in circumstances.  I look forward to having a grandson serve a mission and a grand daughter get married, or the opposite or both.  There is so much ahead, and just as now we won't be able to be there for all of it, but we will certainly be able to enjoy it as it happens no matter were we might be. And it will continue to be a blessing for us to see you enjoy the friendships that you have with each other. Keep on being who and what you are, and remember IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO IT RIGHT, WHEN WILL YOU HAVE TIME TO DO IT OVER?

GRANDMA'S TURN

The end of this week has been fun with the extra attention Grandpa and I have been giving to each other.  It was so great to have you kids and your families with us tonight.  You are all so very special to us and we love you.  I will remember the memories you gave me tonight.  All of the cousins get a long so well.  Linzi and Cortney were great sports to model the dresses and shoes.  Not only great sports but beautiful ladies.  Colton is so close to walking and he is as determined to walk as all of you have been.  Kaleb gave close attention to his cookie and the sprinkles he put on it.  Spencer and Brooklyn gave me a hug and said thanks for the nice dinner.  The comments made about Dad and I were touching.  The pictures were topics of discussion.  All of these little things and others that I haven't mentioned made tonight special.  I am grateful that you were willing to make a sacrifice to be with us tonight on our 42nd anniversary.  I am tired with a smile on my face.

It is going to be another busy week for all of us.  It would be so boring if we had nothing to do and no one to do it with.  It is great to be busy giving service to others.  I hope you all have a great week.

It is a simple  fact of life that some days are better then other days.  We have certain obligations that require our time and attention and although we can come to enjoy them it is nice to be able to leave the normal routine and have time to ourselves.  We have tried to do a little more of that the last two days, and today was our third day of our anniversary celebration.  I did have work that needed doing so I got up early to get it done.  I admit that I slept in a little bit and created a bit of pressure for myself, but I was able to finish papers for one of my guys before we had breakfast and left home about 10 a.m.  We decided that one of our outings of celebration would be a trip to the temple.  Draper is currently closed so we drove to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple.  We were able to do some sealings and it was even better then our bucket carrying episode of yesterday morning.  When we got back home I did some more work in the office in order to get papers ready for Robert.  We found him and his family here when we arrived so that made it convenient for me to get his stuff ready.  Then I ate my lunch and watched the BYU basketball game.  It goes without saying that I enjoyed the game.  Mom spent that time by going shopping.  She is doing something really neat for our dinner tomorrow night.  I think you will all appreciate her effort.  Then I worked on papers for another of my guys for Monday morning.  I barely finished in time for the BYU men's volleyball game to start.  That turned into a very entertaining match as they swept UCLA for the 2nd night in a row.  (actually they swept them tonight, last night it was 3 out of 4)  Again Sheila used her time in service as she worked on her Primary lesson for tomorrow and one time when I went upstairs she was wrapping little wieners with bacon for our finger food meal  on our Family home evening.  In review, I feel real good about our day.  I can honestly say that as much as I enjoyed the BYU victories our time at the temple was the best part of our day.    Now I have to get a good night's sleep so I can be up and off before 8 for choir practice.  We are both looking forward to the last day of our anniversary celebration because we will be able to celebrate it with many of you,

Today was a good and busy day.  I had a companion on my afternoon rounds and then we went out to dinner at the Golden Coral to continue our anniversary celebration.  I spent my evening watching BYU men's volleyball (they defeated UCLA in four sets)  But the moment which was my favorite moment of the day came this morning.  Let me set this up.  I'm sure that you know that it has been absolutely frigid outside this past week.  All winter it has been cold too and it has made it real hard to keep the waterfall and pond properly maintained.  Even in winter the water evaporates and the water level has to be tended to to keep it from wrecking the pump.  I have been pretty regular at putting water in the pond several times each week.  During our first frigid spell I would run the water and then undo the hose and drain it of water so it wouldn't freeze and make it impossible to use the next day.  The short 'warm' spell spoiled me and I didn't have to do it for a few days and when I did I left the hose attached and did not drain it.  Then last week when the freezing weather came back I got caught.  The hose was frozen on the faucet and the water in the hose had frozen making it impossible for me to keep the water level in the pond where it needed to be.  Each day I was afraid that I would get up and the pump would have burned out and with the weather we would be helpless if that happened.  Well, this morning Sheila came downstairs and informed me that the time had come.  The water level was way down and the hose was frozen on the faucet and full of ice.  But she had worked a small miracle and had been wrapping the faucet in an old blanket so she was finally able to get the hose undone.  We now could take the hose inside the house and let it thaw, but the pump was struggling and really needed our attention.  So we got 2 buckets and carried water from the kitchen sink to the pond.  Those moments are the moments I fondly remember from our day.  Sheila was working the sink and I was carrying the buckets and we were a good team and were having fun working together.  It was hard enough work that I counted it for my exercise for the day and finally, finally, we got enough water in the pond that the pump quit sounding like it was dying and we averted a possible tragedy.  Later I drained all of the ice and water out of the hose into the bathtub and drug it outside and hooked it up and filled the pond to the optimum level.  Imagine finding satisfaction in hauling water in cold weather with my nose running and the probability of ruining our pump high, but it was the most fun that I had today.  Happy anniversary Sheila.

I realized that there are no rules to say when and how much we can celebrate our anniversary, so why not start early and often.  Today we made a decision to go to dinner and then to a movie.  Who knows what else we might do.  The one thing we are planning is to go to the temple on Saturday morning.  anyway, we left home after 3 and went to Joe's Crab Shack  I had a big pot of 2 lobsters, potato and clams and some shrimp.  Sheila had a glazed salmon.  It's 6 hours later and I am hungry, but I need to test my blood before I'll have me a bowl of cereal before I go to bed.  After dinner we walked across the way to the movie.  We saw TRUE GRIT.  There were a grand total of 9 people in the theater.  When the movie was over and I saw the workers come in to clean up I figured that at least we hadn't given them anything to do.  Our place was as clean as when we got there.  It was a good time just being kind of out of the world with my wife for a few hours.  It did get me wanting to do some more of the same so maybe we'll do something like that again in the next 2 days.  As I wrote last night our best celebration will be Sunday night with our family.  During dinner Sheila said something about it not being the neatest feeling to be sitting there trying to eat and seeing my dinner staring at her.  (The lobsters were whole and intact with eyes!)  The clams were something new for me.  I ate them, but I can take them or leave them from now on.  I do wish that there is a way to enjoy crab and lobster without all of the work involved in dealing with the shells.  Maybe if I were rich I could afford to have someone prepare it that way for me. Maybe I'll get Sheila to cook me a lobster one day too!!  RIGHT

I FEEL LIKE I AM ON BASKETBALL OVERLOAD.  YOU KNOW: SENSORY OVERLOAD DUE TO BASKETBALL.  I MUST HAVE WATCHED ALL OR PART OF AT LEAST 12 GAMES.  I AM FEELING NUMB.  MY POTATO IS 'COUCHED'.  IT STARTED THIS AFTERNOON WITH A REPLAY.  AND THEN TONIGHT BYU, THE JAZZ, UTAH STATE, BYU WOMEN, CSU, U OF U, AND SOME OTHERS JUST SURFING BACK AND FORTH.  I DID DO SOME WORK, BUT NOTHING COMPARED TO MY BASKETBALL WATCHING.  SHEILA MADE IT SO I DID NOT HAVE TO GO OUT IN THIS ARCTIC COLD WEATHER SO I JUST WENT FOR IT.  AND FRANKLY I OVERDID IT.  I AM TOAST.  IT WAS SUCH HARD WORK THAT IT TIRED ME OUT FIERCELY.  SO I HAVE TO FIND THE STRENGTH TO TURN OFF THE TV AND GO TO BED.

I was watching something on tv last week.  It was just a dumb short segment during the news and 4 women were talking about something.  One made that statement that she was 'the way she was' and should not be expected to change.  I guess that I have probably made a similar statement myself.  But when I heard it then it struck me that it might be true in some circumstances, but should not be the answer for every situation.  In fact, we should think that changing is the preferred circumstance.  After all 'our' understanding of our purpose in life supports changing more then it does staying the same or not being able to change.  I believe that I am actually a good example of that.  When I finished my 38th push up this morning I felt satisfaction in continuing in a program that came into my mind in the month of December, 2007, and has continued as I envisioned it back then even though there were times when I wanted to quit and certainly times, especially last year, when I figured that I would cap it at 36 because I didn't believe I could continue to add as I originally thought when I conceived the idea.  Even now I wonder how high I can go, but I am not going to worry about it now.  I am just going to keep at it every day.  I won't have to face that until February comes to an end.  So I'll wait until then to think about it.  I do admit that it feels good to have accomplished this for these 3 years plus.  I figure that the number of push ups that I have done is well over 4,700 just for the first year of 2008, and for January, 2011 was 2,294.  No wonder I'm so buff!!!  I have also been able to recognize some other areas where I have been able to change.  I'm talking about good things.  I can truthfully say that I am a better person now then I was say 10 years ago or 20 years ago.  I like the idea of being able to improve.  Sure, some things don't get better and some decline as I age and I'm not real excited about actually declining as I age, but there are still plenty of areas and qualities and things that can be changed for the better.  And those things don't have an expiration date on them.