Been back home long enough to have settle in, but I think just caught up to my energy this morning (Tuesday)  Yesterday was pretty much level one work most all day.  I still haven't gotten it all done, but another good day of that intensity should about do it.  I find the music from Saturday night still popping into my head every now and again, and my memories are good when I review our trip.  Haven't had much opportunity to talk about it with any of you (Colton's disappearing implants took precedence) but that will come.  However, many of you will be off on another adventure real soon, but 'our' memories will still be there.  I am starting to day dream about our new calling which is less then 2 weeks in our future.  My feelings are a little hard to nail down.  Anxious, yes, excited, yes, but sometimes a 'neg' will creep into my mind.  It is going to be so different and I'm not settled with all of that yet.  There is still so much going on in my head and I am trying to sort it all out.  It is just 3 weeks and Sheila will start back to work at the 'new' school.  By then we will have quite a different life.  Hope that I will be able to man up to what it will require of me.

Got up way before the alarm went off and learned how to group text for our trip that is now about 2 hours away from beginning.  I have already sent out some group texts (got 2 responses, I guess the rest are still asleep!) and we are up and in motion.  I anticipate that I will have much to write when we get back tomorrow.  I hope that we have prepared well and that everything will be as wonderful as it already is in my mind.  I am really looking forward to 'it'.

It is as though I had stepped through a door into a new life.  Everything seems different, more intense, more demanding and just 'more'.  Work is overwhelming me, thoughts of our impending calling are filling my head, and my inward, personal pondering seems quite sophisticated as if I have graduated to a new level of something.  Even our new phones seem a part of this new level as we are slowly adapting to a better way of doing some things.  There is so much that I don't understand, but my focus seems to be expanding to a bigger picture sort of view that I did not have before.  In a way it is a scary thing.  Makes me wonder about the amount of time that I have to do the 'more' that I now feel a responsibility to do.  I am trying hard to adapt to this new level of pressure and responsibility which I only see getting more in a very short period of time.  I know that I have 'prayed' it all for quite a period of time, but now that 'it' is here I have to deal with 'it'.  No one ever said that it would be easy (well, actually someone did say that it would be 'easy' if He became my partner, so perhaps my best effort is to make that happen.).  I guess that I can see that 'inward, personal' part of me as addressing that relationship.  I know that the growth and achievement in my 'communion' with my Savior will make all of the other things possible and possibly 'easy'.  I know that my study in 3 Nephi 19 this morning seemed to address that process.  In His short visit His priority was to teach, baptize, confirm and 'become one' with the people in order for the 'process' to begin between Him and each of them.  It is that same 'process' that I am talking about.  All of this relates to my relationship with God and what it requires from me as I progress.

My recent scripture reading has been in 3 Nephi.  This morning as I was reading about Christ's ministry to the Book of Mormon people I thought about some that question whether or not He actually did appear to them, or even if He lived at all and was who He said that He was.  I examined my testimony of those things.  I realize that my testimony is not necessarily about Him as an historical figure.  I certainly do accept that in all of its restored latter-day truth, but my testimony of Him is really a result of personal manifestation that I have been blessed with.  The peace and comfort He promises I have most certainly felt throughout my life.  But even more, I know that I have been touched by his love and received His forgiveness and mentoring and influence enough so that I can not, and do not doubt.  I know that as I have stumbled on throughout my life that I have been in crucial need of being washed clean and forgiven and He has done that for me.  I could not stand before Him now and feel the hope that I feel for my (our) future without that having happened many times in my life.  I, indeed, have been and at times still am a 'wretch', but this 'wretch' feels hopeful and has promises that are the result of that powerful influence from my Savior that have been and still are much a part of me and my life.  I could not look to my future the way that I do without His blessings to me in my past.  That is my testimony.  Not only is he real and lives;  He lives for and in me and has helped change me to whatever good that I am. I hesitate to use the words 'sanctified' and 'perfected' but to any extent that they apply to me it is because of Him.  And for that I am daily and continually grateful.

While there are certainly some events in our lives that are complete surprises, that  come 'out of the blue' or seemingly without any notice or warning, most events are the result of much planning, hard work, preparation in detail and anticipation over time.  Those events which surprise us can, indeed, be life changing at times, but the most meaningful, impactful and defining are the ones worked for, planned on and the culmination of efforts over long periods of time by and for us and most often 'community' in effort.  One event, still future, that is defined in both of these ways is the Second Coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.  We know that it will happen as a surprise, but also be the result of the most 'community' of efforts and only after the hardest and most detailed work has been performed in its preparation.  It will be the most meaningful, impactful and defining event not only for each of us personally and individually, but for our entire 'family'.

Well, we did it last night!  I told Sheila that we have bought new cars in less time.  But it did seem like the right thing to do at the time.  We bought ourselves new cell phones!  We discussed just going to the T-Mobile store to 'just gather information', but we finally ended up with 2 Samsung Galaxy Note II's (mine in black and her's in white).  Now we are both suffering from 'techno immersion syndrome' or 'geezer mind overdose'.  But we were able to dial a phone call and receive a text before the night finally came to a conclusion.  But the  horizon is still quite overwhelming.  I am starting to understand that it is kinda like a marriage when two strangers have to get to know each other.  (my hands and that pad).  We both think that once we finally start to learn how to use it that it will really change our life.  Can that be?  It is only, well not just a phone, but a portable computer and yes, we will probably be doing stuff more and better and may change some.  Right now I am focused on today, Friday, but so looking forward to tomorrow and the family/temple/Maddox's time that we have scheduled.

The 1st 'U' in my P.U.S.H.- U.P.S routine represents 'understand the day'.  So I am now in my 67th month of having that in my mind as I plan and ponder my life.  I have come to see that each day does have it's own unique character.  I, also, have learned how the days, weeks and months are connected.  I can't say that I do live each new day the best that I could, but slowly I am seeing the uniqueness of every new morning and I try to make my choices based on what best suites that particular day.  I am still trying to deal with the fact that some days are just better then other days.  My idea that that they should all be 'good' days' doesn't always translate into reality, and that bothers me.  I still count those 'bad' days as somehow failing, but I am learning that that is not necessarily true.  There seems always something to be gained from even the 'bad' days that sometimes happen.  But I am still pondering on that some.  Whatever the formula, the days still come to me one at a time, and offer the same 24 hours with equal opportunity and it comes down to how I choose to 'utilize' (the 2nd 'U') the day 'given' or the 'given day'. I figure that you are in the same boat.  I haven't heard that any of you have figured out how to find more time or rearrange the order yet, so we all just meet the challenge on each new morning and enjoy the consequences on each new night (or not).  May we all just keep on and learn how to make the most of what we have all been given.

I haven't quite figured out my life as a semi-retired grumpa yet.  One thing seems certain though and that is that no matter how hard I work throughout the day I still fall further behind.  There is just so  much to do and it gets bigger every day.  For instance, yesterday I spent  more then an hour on my computer checking out electric shavers!  I see a need in our next stage to shave more often and I figured that as an alternative to my using my razor when I shower.  Do you realize how many web sites there are comparing shavers and teaching about beard type?  I am more confused now then when I started thinking about the question.  

 

Last night we attended a reception for Mark Wright up Parley's canyon.  It rained on us there (and every where else), but was a very pleasant evening.  We visited with some dear 'old' friends, some of whom we hadn't seen in such a long time.  So all night I have been thinking about those relationships and how they play in my eternal sense of things.  It brought some tender feelings that are weighing on me some, and certainly cause me to think about things that I often don't think about.  So my studies for today are expanded even more.  Our family outings the next 2 Saturdays, this mission call on the horizon, upgrading my phone, a new shaver and my lesson on Sunday PLUS just trying to keep up with every day things.  Certainly any thought of 'slowing down' isn't realistic at all.  We may not have the 'raising children' situation that you have, but there is so very much to do.  It's a good thing that we are 'retired' so we can attempt to deal with it all!

I am a slacker.  Not only is our 'birthday card' to Nicholas late, I haven't written in my journal for 2 whole weeks.  So all of you please forgive me if I take advantage and do both in this one effort.  I don't know why, but things seem a bit weird this Monday morning. My mind isn't really focused the way that it usually is on a Monday morning.  Too much is swirling around in my head.  Most of the kids here know, but for Nicholas:  we are anticipating our mission call soon.  We have been called to a 'church service mission' in the 'inner city project'.  It is only a part time call, but full time as far as becoming a member of our new ward, where ever that will be. We will be released for our present callings and serve at the behest of the Bishop where we are assigned. I am not really sure if we will actually receive that 'white envelope', but all the paper work has been sent in and we are looking for the 1st or 2nd week of August to begin serving.  Yes, we will have name tags and will be missionary companions.  It has been hard to get any real definitive information about what we will actually be doing because all of the brethren say the same thing, that it varies so much from situation to situation to describe it in detail, but every time we read what you (Nicholas) are doing we imagine something similar on a limited basis.  I remember Elder Porter's first few letters describing how it took time to earn trust first.  I believe that that will also be a key in whatever we will do.  Our schedule with work and especially family has not slowed down, in fact, it is actually more hectic this summer and we don't know just how our mission will affect it.  But it is something that we have wanted for a long time, but could not see how it could be.  But apparently "He"  is able to work wonders and now here it is, and I will have a companion of my dreams (and my future)!  It is hard to understand, let alone, explain all that I am feeling right  now.  But it is all good, in fact, better then I can fully grasp.  May each of you find that for you in whatever you are doing, and never forget that most important thing in the world for you to know!

I was surprised to find out that it has been 10 days since my last entry.  I have no good reason and no good excuse.  I just didn't do it.  Now it is new week and a new month (July 1st) and I feel badly that I have been such a slacker.  I was also inspired by the fact that both Shelli and Cicily had finally written something, but for me it is actually painful in a physical way.  My left wrist is really sore.  This time I do know what happened, but I am surprised that simply gathering groceries from the trunk and carrying them into the house would damage me and result in such pain.  I did my push ups Saturday night and again Sunday morning, but not last night or this morning when I would have done 67.  Instead I am wondering if I will even be able to do much work.Some of the letters that I am typing or more painful then others and I worry about the simple work tasks that are routine, but now will cause me pain.  I didn't put on shoes this morning to avoid hurting so I am in my slippers.  I tried to rest my wrist yesterday, but it wasn't really much better when I got up this morning.  I'll just do what I can and hope that it will get better.  I am anxious to have Sheila come in from her early morning yard work so I can have her see those blogs and the stuff on Facebook (Sharon posted some pictures there).  We also need to talk about this new week and month.  And then I will settle in and see what I can do and how much it will cost me (in wrist pain, that is!)  I do have several reading projects I can fall back on to help me feel productive as I try to heal my injury,  but even that isn't pain free.