When Sheila  read my recent posts  she said that I had left out a lot of detail.  I knew that I had, and I felt lucky to have done as much as I did.  I figure that it will be hard to go back and fill in all of the blanks, so I won't even try.  But I will try to do better as I move forward in this new effort.  I have already let it slip a few times and I am feeling a lot of pressure to do every day all of the things that I have on my mind.  In fact, I hardly know myself right now and although I do like what I do see, there seems to be so much more going on that I don't seem to notice much, because my mind is so full of stuff.  It seems that I have to force myself in everything and nothing comes normally to me.  I can't really explain it to myself, but I do feel like I am somehow on a higher plan, or at least putting out a lot more effort.  Maybe it will get easier over time, but right now it takes a lot of effort and I'm not used to that.  There is just so much more going on in my life, and I am trying to do so much more then I have done before.  Even my sleep time demands more from me and I am not yet used to giving and doing so much.  It gets very tiring.  But it is also strangely rewarding.  I actually think that I am really 'making a better me'.