I don't want to do this.  I'm tired and my mind is blank.  I have lost my mo jo.  But maybe, just maybe, it is a good thing that I do (write that is).  I would like to think so.  When I can think of something to write sometimes it surprises me and actually makes some sense.  Other times, well when you live a dull and boring life you record it as dull and boring.   And I have been doing that for years.  I dream more exciting stuff.  But my life, it doesn't compare.  I am ordinary, run of the mill, garden variety.  So with all of that how did I end up being married to Sheila and having the family that we have?  And for all of that I do have some peace.  I also have some hope about our life.  It isn't all ordinary.  It just feels that way sometimes.  And obviously right now is one of those times.   I search my mind for the goals that I really, really want and they are outside of this world, so that is my priority.  I know that I have to do certain things here and now, and I am engaged in doing those, but they are only a means to an end.  The real 'end' that I want is very real to me and always on my mind.  It just isn't very easy to measure day to day or to articulate.  So my very ordinary life in one dimension is actually extraordinary in another dimension.  I need to remember that.  When I do remember it changes everything.