I have not written for a time because the thought in my head haven't been very clear to me.  I have had this idea rattling around for quite a while, but it seemed muddled and not conclusive.  Right now I feel that writing it down may help me to focus it better.  I think I have referred to one of 'them' before and 'it' has continued to be on my mind.  It has to do with how I do my job compared to how I am being 'paid' for my job.  My effort is so weak, yet my 'pay' is so high.  It has taken some time to get used to it being my reality.  Every day I fall further behind, in dept, to Father in the way that He blesses me.  I do believe that I am trying harder to do better because of that but my debt will continue to increase and I will just have to get used to it.  That is the way that He is.  I started a new book last week and it has had a profound effect on me.  "Earth: In the Beginning"  I recommend it to all of you.  I would love to have long and deep discussions with any of you about it.  I admit that my life has changed (for the better).  I am trying to catch up with it and it is a challenge, but I am enjoying what is happening to (and for) me.  Maybe you might find time where we can sit down together and discuss all that is going on around us in this year 2013 ( and my 68th).

I hadn't thought that it had been a whole week since I last wrote.  But apparently there is a routine forming that I am not aware of.  Last Wednesday I got into my office earlier and again today.  Sheila isn't even gone off to work yet and I am here, so I need to take advantage of this extra moment and do this.  I have had a thought (among many) hanging around for a few days that I want to articulate for me as well as for this entry.  I expressed it to myself this way:  "I am receiving executive pay for blue collar work."  What I mean by that is that I am feeling so very blessed (actual feelings) as if I were earning based upon great service or fantastic talents.  I feel compensated way beyond what I am actually doing (as if we can actually 'earn' blessing anyway).    Sure, we are showing up at our assignment, but not much more.  I am not teaching.  I am still struggling with knowing all of those fine folks by name.  I just sit around a lot.  Yet, I feeling as if we are doing this great thing.  I 'feel' it.  It is hard to explain, because it is hard for me to understand.  But it is so real to me.  I am living on a higher plane then before and I don't deserve it.  Maybe that is my 'key'.  Do we ever deserve 'it'?  I just know that this is where I want to be.  So for now I'll keep on serving meagerly and graciously receive my unjust compensation and journey on.

I'm actually in my office way early and I wasn't planning on writing, but it seems that I have some catching up to do.  It seems like such a long time since, because it is.  But I did have a good reason.  My computer broke last Thursday.  I tried everything I knew (which wasn't much) and our good son Robert tried and even had a friend of his come and they tried (for a few hours on Saturday) but their efforts with that young lady in the Philippines only taught us what didn't work and maybe what the problem really was.  She scheduled a company tech for Tuesday the 8th so at least I had a timetable to be without.  Yesterday he did come and couldn't get it working, but did let me know what I had to do.  So I did (bought, paid for and installed a new state of the art modem) and to my delight I am back on line.  Catching up isn't fun, but being able to catch up is. Now I am ready to move forward.  And it actually works faster then it did before.  Happy Wednesday to you.