I have taken advantage of my Sunday by doing nothing of consequence and just sitting and watching some t v.  We got home from church and Sheila fixed a couple of hamburgers and since then: nothing.  I do feel like there was something better that I could have been doing, but it feels so good to have nothing pressing that needs doing.  I have had seasons and years in my life where my Sundays were totally different and so very, very busy.  I let myself get away with now.  Who knows, it could change again, but for now this day of rest means just that for me.  

Oh yes, that mystery, it isn't completely solved, but as far as I'm concerned it is resolved.  Someone seems to have taken one of the orders that we served and copied and altered them and 'served' them on some other folks.  Don't know why yet, or if it was just random or calculated.  But it wasn't something that we did or did  not do.  

Spent part of my afternoon yesterday watching Cortney play basketball in this coaches invitational one day tournament.  It was fun for me to be there.  I look forward to much more in future.

I was already here before, but either I or the computer fouled up and I lost the entry I had completed before it was saved and printed.  I will try to remember what it was that I wrote.

 

Sunday, my day of rest,  maybe too much rest, but then I have had days and seasons of really, really busy Sundays.  It is so nice to take it easy now.  Maybe it will change again, but for today doing nothing after getting home from the block feels real good to me.

 

My mystery from last night hasn't exactly been solved, but I do know that someone copied one of my orders and altered it and 'served' it on some other folks.  Friend or foes I do not know yet, but as least I know we didn't do anything wrong.  

 

Spent part of yesterday afternoon watching Cortney play basketball in a coaches invitational.  I told her that she 'impressed'.  She did, and does.  I look forward to many more opportunities for her and for me in the future.  After all, she is just into her Junior year.

I have a mystery on my hands.  Last night I had 'finished' my day and I was sitting in my green chair in our bedroom pondering.  The phone rang around 10 and I ended up with 3 calls + (some called a 2nd time) from folks claiming some service of an order of restitution that didn't seem proper to them.  Obviously my name and phone number were on the paper but as I asked question some other stuff just didn't match up.  I called Richard a few times because he had been out doing orders of restitution that night, but his names and addresses didn't match either.  I have thought about it a lot throughout the night, especially after the phone rang again at 2:55 am.  I looked at the caller id and it read 'private'. I was even more curious as I wondered about it being a police call, but I did not answer it.  How productive of a conversation can you have at 3 a m?  So I got up early (6:30) and I am here in the office ready to face my day.  I have plenty to do otherwise, but I hope that as they call back (which we agreed that they would do) I can figure out just what is going on.  I have some ideas from a practical joke to a mean scheme, but so far I am unable to make any real conclusions.  I need to gather information and, of course, be charming as the callers were upset about the possible evictions that they are faced with, and seemingly without cause.  I want to resolve this for them as well as for me. 

Without going to a dictionary I will proceed with my thought about 'context'.  That word or what the word means has been on my mind (and on my finger) all of yesterday and until now.  I was reminded how limited we are in our thinking without knowing our context.  What I mean specifically is what we know about who we are, where we come from and where we can go depending upon our choices.  Knowing that our mortal situation was made, dependent upon our choices in a pre-mortal state, makes everything different.  It makes complaining about what 'God' did to us an excuse.  It changes the way that we look at ourselves and this journey that with that context has specific purpose and meaning.  And I was taught another thing that knowing context does to me.  It makes me responsible, along with all of my 'enlightened' brothers and sisters responsible to let the other know who they are and why they are here.  When I see the 'marvelous work' that we are a small part of that is designed for just that purpose it causes me to examine the very small role that I play, and how I am playing it.  I connect to my 'star fish' theme and take some solace that I have 'made a difference' albeit a very small one.  I am thrilled that there are so many who share this work and do it so much better then I do.  Thank Heaver for wonderful and faithful brothers and sisters!

I know that I don't know everything.  Can I get an amen?  And in my older age I am finding great satisfaction in being taught stuff that falls into my already learned stuff and expands and fits and generally makes more sense because of what is already there.  I hope that you have found my discourse of the last several days to be interesting and perhaps valuable.  It was something on my mind and a subject that our Bishop briefly touched on as he closed out church 2 weeks ago.  I happened to run into him a wee ago Tuesday when I went to close up the church.  Our brief conversation ended with him asking me to share with him my conclusions about 'faith, hope, charity and love.' so that's what I did.  I need to finalize those pages and then give him a copy, but I feel pretty good about that result of my study of several weeks.  I know that Shelli read some of it, and I interested to see what she thinks of the lot when it is finalized.  I am still continuing my study and this morning I was given a new 'word' or perspective.  Seems that I need to ponder the idea of 'context'.  Any ideas? 

I got up just after Sheila left for work.  She had put on her new work uniform that finally got to her yesterday.  She complained that it wasn't fitted very well and commented on the competence of the person or process, but hey, it was only a month late, too.  When I got into my office I thought about my office light that did not work before our trip to Bear Lake but has been on ever since.  I had had Jim Murphy tinker with the fixture a few days before we left and when we got back home it was working.  I haven't turned it off since because I fear I won't get it to work again.  But I did turn the heat back on yesterday, and this morning I over rode the thermostat so it would come on and heat up the office.  The season has changed and all I can do is accept it and try to deal with it.  It is down right frosty now in the mornings and at night.  Time is going by so fast that before I know it I'll be writing about our trip to Disneyland with the Rosbach's in the past tense.  I do complain, but I think that I actually like the pace.  Getting used to the idea that I can't ever get everything done in a day, or week is hard, but at least it is the same for all of us.  Seems like I have transitioned into a new state of being:  being older, maybe being wiser, being more focused. being more aware of goodness, and what is ahead for us.

So, is this possible?  Can each of us start out as mortal, flawed, fallen human beings and finish 'as he is'?  Apparently so, because that is the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  Everything about the gospel teaches us that we can become like our Heavenly Parents, but never on our own!  The role of our Savior facilitates that process according to our cooperation with Him.  He is the source of that change.  So it is understandable that one of the ways this goal is described is as 'the pure love of Christ', denoting our journey to 'come unto' him and allow him to change us to be like him with him in us, and us in him.  So D & C 4 heralds the restoration of this marvelous work and in just seven verses describes how it can work for us.  Sure it is a great missionary section, but also invaluable for personal guidance.  And note the last verse:  "Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."  Why is the "seek and ye shall find" from the Sermon on the Mount in both the New Testament and 3 Nephi missing.  Perhaps it is because with the restoration of the gospel through the Prophet Joseph Smith we have already found 'Him' and now work to establish communion with him that culminates in a perfect union described as "Charity".

"Charity. The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ.  It is never used to denote alms or deeds or benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive."  This is from our Bible Dictionary.  Simple, huh?  Reads easy and is quite complete.  But oh, where it can take you.  In my effort to understand it better I changed one word and it really expanded the whole idea for me.  I changed the 'pure love of Christ' to 'pure love FOR Christ.  In the last several verses of Moroni 7, Mormon teaches us that this pure love of Christ is 'our' love for Christ.  We must work to be 'filled with this love'.  We must seek to be pure and as we become pure our love for Him will become pure.  Pure, holy, sanctified, washed clean, sounds like our  life long pursuit.  Then, if we become 'like him' in love we will love as he loves.  Imagine, 'the pure love of Christ' defining the love we have in our own heart.  If we love as he loves, we behave as he behaves, and truly 'we shall be like him for we shall see him as he is', and he shall see us as we are, or as we have become. Because the Father has bestowed this upon us, 'true followers of his Son'.  Faith, hope and charity; 'but the greatest of these is charity'.

As Latter-Day-Saints we don't disagree with the use of the word 'love' necessarily, but our 'further light of understanding' in the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants adds some valuable information that helps us understand more about what Paul meant when he called charity the most important of the three 'theological virtues'.  When Mormon defines charity as the 'pure love of Christ' the word takes on a much greater meaning then the way the word is generally defined by the world today.   But I, for one, was still inclined to use the two words 'love' and 'charity' interchangeably except in degree because our Bible Dictionary tells us that charity is 'the highest form of love'.    So there is charity, as in  doing good for and giving to others which is mentioned in 1 Cor. 13, but only as a part of charity; there is love of God and love of ourselves and our fellow men, as in the first and second greatest commandments; and then there is this higher and purer form of love which is directly tied to Christ.  So then, what did Joseph Smith mean in D & C 4 when he lists 'faith, hope, charity and love with an eye single to the glory of God' as qualities which qualify us for the work?   Now, there are four 'theological virtues' to master, but first we have to understand what they really are.  (And perhaps five if you count: 'with an eye single to the glory of God' which isn't quite as simple a thought when you really begin to examine it.)

I am interrupting my regular scheduled entry because I let every obstacle get in the way.  So here I am after 8 pm on Sunday night making up for my  Saturday morning entry and then I will do my Sunday morning entry next.  I will be back on schedule when I start tomorrow morning.  I did have sort of an excuse Saturday morning.  Robert had stayed over with Lucas and Jonah and I heard him get up and leave for work after 6.  The kids woke up after 7 and I got up and sat in my chair to 'sleep' a little while longer.  I was very surprised when I woke up and it was almost 9:30.  We had to leave near10:30 so I skipped my journal entry and we got us and them ready to go to Spenser's football game.  Good thing!.  It took us forever to figure out Jonah's car seat and to get the stroller to fold up to put it in the car.  We did make it and enjoyed the visit and sitting out in the hot sun.  Cicily asked us to take pictures which we did and which should appear somewhere, sometime soon.  The adventure pretty much exhausted us for the rest of the day and even made us sleep in later on Sunday so we went to the 12 o'clock session of the Brigham City Temple dedication.  Since then we have enjoyed a nice and quiet day, which I am about to call and go up and finish with some heavy thinking, pondering and studying.  I will continue my 'essay' for my Sunday morning entry and then I will be caught up.

With that introduction in mind, I encountered some confusion when I was reading my scriptures recently, specifically 1 Corinthians 13.  As you might know, that is the Apostle Paul's discourse on the subject of  'faith, hope and charity'.  In an effort to study it in more detail I sought further light and knowledge by going to the internet.  Most of what I encountered brought confusion.  For example:  In a comparison of 17 different bible translations 15 translated the key phrase as 'faith, hope, and love'.  Only the King James version and the Douay-Rheims version use the word 'charity'.  I also noted that in our LDS edition there is only a note that the word 'charity' was translated from a Greek word for love, but the Prophet Joseph Smith retained the word charity.  I also discovered what most of us already know; that the definition of the word charity has definitely changed throughout history and we all have heard many LDS talks pointing out that charity as defined today is not the definition used by Paul.  In fact, one source noted that "Satan has twisted the word of God..enough to mislead humanity " by changing the meaning from God to mere alms giving.  The restoration of the gospel through Joseph Smith has indeed, added light to our understanding of the definition of the word 'charity'.  That is where I now go in my effort to understand what Paul (and Mormon and Joseph Smith) truly meant by use of the word:  'charity'.

Communication between human beings is accomplished through various means and methods.  No one way is perfect, and often some kind of teamwork of method is required.  But we can agree that the most often used method is the word.  Written or spoken, words carry the bulk of that effort.  We do realize that communication through words, even when enhanced by gestures, punctuation, emphasis and context is not perfect.  Somehow, the process of trying to take an image or thought or impression or feeling from inside of one person to the mind or heart (or both) of another is only successful to a degree.  Definitions of words both between languages as well as within languages, due to experience and time are not always the same.  One obvious example of that right now is the language used by our grand children which seems almost foreign to us old people.  It is as though they have been brought up in a different world.  (Which may be true in a way!)  A word, whether spoken, written, put to music or poetry, on a billboard, an i-pad or used in any of several different kinds of media doesn't always represent the same thing to the hearer, the reader, the listener or the observer.  Considering the challenges to 'perfect' communication, it is a wonder that we do as well as we do, but it is also important to be aware of the challenge of communicating effectively.

Yesterday was an okay day.  The world didn't end (although who's to say that that would be a bad thing?) and as far as I know we (family) all made it through without anything really bad happening.  As usual for me in this season of my life I didn't really go anywhere.  But in my head I did venture to places far away.  Our blogs took me to family in other places and my mind visited our kids and our grand kids.  I also made a trip to Russia through some new "I am a Mormon" videos that caught my attention.  A 'linked' article about the church in Russia in these last days was fascinating to me and brought feeling to me that as of yet I don't quite understand.  I shared those with Sheila and we marveled at what is going on there.  Right now I have a personal project that I am working on.  It is a think piece about charity and love and I am studying lots to try to really understand those as far as D & C 4 go.  Sheila left for work this morning an I wanted to not get up.  But right at 7 I did, and before15 minutes I had read my chapter (Moroni 7) and finished off my 57 push ups.  Now if I can continue and have the kind of a day that I prayed for I will be happy with myself, and let you know tomorrow morning.

Wouldn't it be easier if we didn't have to 'seek ye a living like unto men' (which, by the way is from the D & C and addressed to my great great, great great grandfather.)  Then, maybe, we would have time to do all of the family things that we want to do.  Wouldn't it be easier if my fantasy of rapid transit (a ship of light speed) were a reality, instead of time, distance and a 'car' that requires a freeway, speed limits, traffic and to be fed when my 'living' allows.  Then I could be at football games, t-ball games, volleyball games, dance recitals and flag football games.  What about this structure that we are required to live in?  You know, day and night, 24 hours and days that go by before you know it.  What if we didn't require the recoop time for our physical enclosure?  And feeding the darn thing, though a pleasure on occasion can really get old when you finally get on a roll in another activity.  Why does 'life' has to be this way?  Could I design a better way?  And if I could can it be designed without kids?  Oh no, that's really the 'family' part of this that is the part at the heart of it all right now.  And after all, I am really just a kid too! (In a much broader context of things!)  I also enjoy food too much to give it up entirely.  But travel, I am still pressing for my light-speed travel vehicle.  That would make things so much easier (?)

For some reason that I still do not understand I had an aversion to getting m y picture taken when I was young.  I don't believe that I have fully gotten over that to this day.  But I have had some pictures that turned out okay and I have learned to appreciate the memories of times and events that can return when a picture is seen.  I have had very few pictures of me that I liked, but as I said, I overlook that when the event has such a positive memory.  I owe thanks to many of you who have taken and posted family pictures throughout the years, and much more recently.  Seems like one of the advantages of this new techno-geek age is the proliferation of photographers and photographs.  The ones that I just looked at were from yesterday and were posted by Cyndi, the day before by Cicily and before that, Shelli.  Others have posted pictures of family and family events too, and all are special reminders for me. It seems that there is so much of that that it might become old, but it doesn't.  And as much as I still find the pictures of me somewhat disturbing I am learning to look past that and appreciate and remember how I felt when the picture was taken.  That is always a positive thing.  And I know that there will be many, many more pictures to come in our future.  Thank heaven for our techno-geek photographers who are documenting our lives for us.  Keep it up!

For a Sunday I am up early to do this.  But in my research I find that Cicily actually did beat me to the punch in one of my stories.  My effort this morning is to describe my Saturday.   You need to see her post about Lucas' birthday outing at Boondock's, but I will add that the picture of me and Lucas in the go-cart does not do justice to the event.  What I mean is the actual event that I was in was far more exciting and gratifying then any picture could represent.  It fills my head remembering the moment and really made my day.  (Thank you Sheila for 'imposing' your will and making it happen.)  The rest of the day was also full of moments with family and actually made history by starting a new family tradition.  Cicily also beat me to the punch there too, with pictures!

A second evening moment was Sheila again 'imposing' and took us to Cafe Rio for a meal.  I will actually go there again!  (Surprised, family?!)  The rest of my late night was just as memorable, but hardly as satisfying.  You'd have to be a BYU fan to appreciate that, so many of you will.  But it is now Sunday and there is more coming.  (I just need to remember my recommend!)  I realize that my description of such a day is really cryptic, but those of you that were there already know, others who are interested will ask, and me, well, I will hold on to it forever!

When I came down to start my day Sheila was in her upstairs office working on our birthday card for Lucas.  We will catch up with him later this morning at Boondocks for a little while.  I saw my son-in-law Russ on t v last night.  I watched some of the Bonneville/Logan football game and saw him doing his chain gain job.  I figure that only those who know him well would recognize him, but I do and I did.  I started this entry thing by looking at the blogs of Shelli and Cicily and Facebook.  I quote:  "ladies, ladies you are both pretty!"  Sheila is now down here with me working on her bills.  I wish I was better at doing my part, but we are getting by.  With faith we don't really fear what might happen, but we still are required to live each day by faith because possibilities still exist.  We just take it a day at a time or less (hour by hour) and try to do our best.  Today will be a 'great' with what we have on our agenda, a pay day, a day that makes the other days worth it.  Check out the next entry of tomorrow morning and see what I mean.

I was up early and on my way to my office as Sheila was walking out to go to work.  I made a comment about what she was wearing as I knew that she had been told that she could wear red or blue to honor the BYU-- U U rivalry.  She was wearing her blue pants but the school t-shirt that is red.  I said something about not knowing what her loyalties were and she said that she would change to a blue shirt for me.  I said that it didn't matter as long as I knew what her loyalties were.  She said that they were to me.  Kind of puts all of that talk into perspective doesn't it?  Can you imagine people and even families choosing to be divided over something so trivial!  (I guess that I was once there too.)      Anyway, here I am in the office ready to 'do' my Friday.  Can't relax because there is way too much on my mind.  Yesterday I did some surfing by searching names from my past.  I brought up the Facebook of a girl I had a crush on in high school.  Seems that right now she is on a mission with her husband in Bolivia.  Hmm, me what am I doing?  Oh, that Sierra Newbold, the little girl that was killed some months ago, she is her niece.  Must have gotten the news in the field.  Hmm, which life will I choose to live?  "Got me own thanks!"  (The response I got a lot from door knocking during my mission in Australia.)

Passed 1/3 and quickly coming up on 1/2 of this month of September!  The reality is that a day for all of us has 24 hours of 60 minutes each, but it does appear that the rate at which it passes does increase as you get older.  So, my day goes faster then your day!  I have decided that that is a result of the "I can't wait for Christmas" syndrome.  When I was young that was the way I looked at my life.  Big events that had come to mean a lot seemed to come slowly.  'I couldn't wait' for Summer to come, then it was for school to start.  That special vacation seemed ridiculously far away. And birthdays, it just seemed that I was always anxious for something in the future and went through my days in anticipation not really appreciating the present.  Well, enter experience and age and now I am different:  I know that 'it' will come eventually, and usually sooner then I am ready.  I have resigned myself to the reality that the present can be just as exciting as the future if lived properly.   It also has to do with proper preparation for that special event.  They don't just happen.  Good things have to be planned and prepared for.  So there is just too much to do each present day to worry too much about something coming.  That way not only is the present much more pleasant, but with proper preparation the event will come in a much better way too.  Words of Wisdom from the old Geezer!

I have been around quite a long time.  I look and I see the results of many years and frankly, I am astounded at what I see.  To see our family now is amazing.  We realize that we all have tests and trials, but we can not overlook the wonderful blessings that we have.  I have never been one to try and script my life.  For the most part I just take it as it comes.  Good thing, because I could have never come up with something this unique and special.  Certainly I would have not chosen the particular tests that some of you have had, but then that is the genius of our Father in Heaven.  He is able to design circumstances that seem so negative and terrible, but in time turn into such wonderful blessings.  I am learning to just let things come and not judge them before they have evolved into the blessings that they finally become.  (Not perfect at that though yet)  I got up this morning thinking that I really don't know all that today might bring. Sure, I have a pretty good idea, but days do have minds of their own.  Something will happen to me, or to Sheila and certainly to one of you that will be a blessing that we have no way to anticipate.  Sure, some 'negs' will pop up along the way, but they too usually evolve into something good or merely remind us of all of the other good things going on in our lives.  Here's to a good day for me and for each of you living your own adventure.

While I was laying in bed this morning I had what I now call a 'vision of perspective'.  It began as I reviewed my yesterday.  I had watched much of a near 5 hour US Open final.  I began to see the world as a myriad of contests in sport, in business and in all aspects of our life in this world.  People love to compete, engage, contest, try, win and work against each other.  Virtually every part of our lives could be described in this way.  School, earning a living, casual recreation, everything is taken as a competition.  We are divided into winners and losers, victors and the conquered, leaders and followers.  Even 'fantasy football' is an outlet for some that don't 'compete' otherwise.  All that is good is competitive as is all that is bad.  Even dropouts are actually still competing by 'not competing'.  BUT this is all designed to distract us from the true competition the real race, the perfect purpose of us being here.  It is referred to in D & C 4 as a  'marvelous work and a wonder' and a short description of the rules are given.  I am beginning to see the vastness of this 'competition' and what it means to and for me, as well as all of my brothers and sisters.  This 'vision' has touched me and changed the way I look at things.  I anticipate it to continue.   

Years ago when I was young (!) and way before most of you were born (all of you except Sheila) there was a t v show called "I led three lives".  It was about a spy, a counter spy and a 'regular' guy trying to juggle those three different lives.  I thought of that this morning while I was thinking about what is going on in my life right now.  It seems to me that I am recognizing two sides of me that have existed side by side all my life, but now are really starting to define themselves.  I could be talking about my natural man and spiritual man thing, but in this case I am talking about my role in this world and my role seeking the next world.  Kind of my 'in the world, but not of the world' conflict that isn't exclusive to me, but we all carry the same duality.  And coming off of a Sunday and starting this Monday it is really on my mind.  It brings so many questions to my mind.  Right now it seems like a real live struggle.  I am tossed about in my head trying to figure it all out.  Hopefully I can find clarity and when and if I do I will let you know.   And, yes, Cicily I did read your latest 'school' entry before I wrote this.

The season has definitely changed.  The leaves are now showing autumn colors and I'm going to be reading the paper about football games.  Then this morning I will go to church earlier for choir practice.  Besides that it is getting a little frosty in the early morning.  I like the fall season.  Used to like the winter season too, but now it is too cold for me.  But I have to put those chilly thought away and just enjoy what is happening right now.  The grand kids are all back in school or many there for the 1st time.  And our routine has begun.  It presents me with another year that is different for me because it is the close of my 66th and shortly the beginning of my 67th! (That's the very first time I thought of it with that number!!!)  Wow. that may not resonate with you, but 67 sure does with  me.  I have to acknowledge a very different season in my life and I'm not sure that I am ready to do that.  Bur, really, I have no choice.  Being a father and a grandfather, that seemed to be so natural.  But 67, that is awkward.  I do now see all kinds of signs to confirm it, but accepting them as my reality, that seems a more difficult task.  Who's going to tell me how to behave?  Heck, those mentors are all dead!  Guess I'll  just keep stumbling forward as I have for the first 66 and see how it goes.

Last night was a birthday party for Zach.  It was a fun time, but more for him and friends then an intimate family gathering.  Just a sign that he is growing up  12 already and ready to get the 'first 1/2' of the priesthood next week.  I also noticed another grand son who seems to have grown up a bit lately.  I'm speaking of Colton, little Colton.  He's an experience veteran in school now, and it has changed him some.  He just seems older to me.  I don't know if Shelli and Phil concur, but from this grumpa perspective the little guy is becoming a little man.  Still likes ice cream, but then that isn't a little guy thing anyway.  To me it seems that he is no longer the baby that he was.  Now that my work week is over and I have a Saturday to enjoy my 'understand the day' (U- from p.u.s.h. u.p.s.) is there for me.  Saturday and Sunday are special days for me, and even more so when the previous 5 have been good days as well.  I enter this week end feeling more positive then I have in a while.  I really believe that I am changing for the better.  Course that really isn't my call.  The truth of it will have to be verified elsewhere, but I believe that it can be, and maybe, will be sometime.  Enjoyed those of the family that were there last night, and missed those who were not there.  Look forward to seeing all of you more and often.

Up and into the office by 7am.  But today I actually showered and dressed first and sent Sheila off to work while not asleep!  She has a big day as she will be driving down to Shauni's after her shift and then tonight we have a birthday party over at Sharon and Johnny's.  I will be confined to my office until tonight, but that is fine because at least for now I have work to do and if by chance I finish I have my book and my pondering.  In a way I feel like I am back in school.  And in a way it is actually more intense then when I was in college.  Its like I'm doing graduate work without the classroom setting (unless you define your heart and mind as a 'classroom' which I guess you could).  There is a never ending amount of material to be learned.  And I am constantly recalling nuggets that I have learned long ago and reconfiguring or tweaking them according to something new that I have learned and then putting them back into my own 'eternal round' of truth.  It is really a satisfying process this learning and relearning.  This morning I have been examining the selfish (me me) of my human self vs. the desires of my spiritual self.  It is obvious that the selfish 'carnal' self is bad and can be really, really bad.  But can you call the spiritual self 'selfish' when you put it in charge?  I'm trying to understand that.

When I read Shelli's blog about her trip to Colorado Springs and looked at some of the pictures that she took I had a flashback way back to my mission when I was in Tasmania and witnessed the same kind of thing.  The one picture that she took was eerily similar to some that I took.  It makes you think about the here and now compared to this idea that we use the word eternity to describe, but which cannot do it justice.  To imagine us with a past, this present and then an eternal future is an idea that is still hard for me to grasp.  I realize that I had another similar experience this morning before I came down to my office.  I had to get up earlier this morning so when I woke Sheila up I started that process.  Before she left for work we had a moment and we talked about how we were when we first got married.  We both have our mental images of our lives together and some pictures in our mind about when we were newlyweds.  Here we are 43 years plus with literally 1,000's of 'pictures' of that journey.  Each one has its own story and comes with its own questions.  What happened? Why?  What is this 'life eternal' that we hope for?  And then it really explodes when you see 2 now more then 30!  Can't get over how we are so connected.  I hope that connection is as good of a thing for each of you as it is for us.

Yesterday (I am now writing the morning after.) was a transition day for me too.  It wasn't the going back to school kind of day like it was for so many of you.  But a weekend, especially a 3 day week end requires a restart of sorts with that extra day of court holiday that drains the work, but doesn't give anything back, including what might come in the mail.  So yesterday finally did both (give back, that is), but not in time to really salvage the day for Richard or me.  However, I didn't notice that much as I was concentrating on a higher kind of effort.  I wrote some thoughts and I did some reading and had a pretty good day of pensive pondering.  You know, that can really be nourishing.  And I believe that it does help one face the regular trials and challenges of 'this world' when you find strength in the 'other world'.  Right now, for today, I have a plan and work that needs doing and I intend to continue the 'other' stuff, so I figure I can live out a good day.  If it gets BETTER then I will be grateful for that.  But I have found that finding all of the wonderful gifts of a 'good' day is one of the keys to me being happy.  Then GOOD days or maybe even better then that, on rare occasions, become really, really special (and those almost always include extended family).  But I will settle for today being 'good' or 'GOOD' and look forward to sharing the even better ones with you-all.

This is a pretty exciting and hectic time for most of the family.  Our mob of grand kids are going back or starting school, and drama and trauma are the words of the day for their parents.  Even Sheila has started back to school with her part time job.  I have been thinking that for me it is not exciting or particularly hectic. In fact, I started to think about it as dull, boring and not very fun.  (I never have liked it when the kids used the word 'boring'!)  But this morning in my 'pensive preparation' for the day I have taken myself to task and changed my attitude.  I realize that I have let so  many moments just slide by wasted because I (the best art of 'I') didn't take charge and make time and place serve me instead of leading me.  Maybe I am finally growing up or finally realizing that it's time to finally do and become before it is too late.  I am inspired by our children and their children.   We really are a pretty ordinary bunch of people, but I am seeing some pretty extraordinary things taking place.  And if I allow my day to be just ordinary I have no one to blame buy myself! So, here's to an exciting and hectic day for all of us, including little, old me hiding away here in my office doing what I do and hoping to make a difference of a good kind.

I have taken the night to review my Sunday and I can confirm my earlier declaration and that it was a GOOD day.  From the time in the morning just sitting there with my wife as we prepared to face our day to my quiet moment before we closed out our day reflecting on what had taken place it was a GOOD day.  I had done my 57 and was relaxing in my chair sipping some cold Gatorade.  I said to myself that as refreshing as that cold drink was to my body the reflection on my day and specifically what I had been taught that morning were refreshing to my soul.  I had carried a question for a long time about what a 'broken heart and a contrite spirit' really meant.  And during church before I bore my testimony and included this new understanding I was taught what it meant and how it was so important to me and in my journey.  Add that to my later reading which enhanced that concept and then the experience of family which began immediately and lasted late and you have the makings of a GOOD day.  Sheila had worked so hard and her meal was soo good.  Jeff Terry said that it was '5 star'!  It was a very relaxed evening, but actually quite intense in the personal sharing building relationships way.  We are a family, a close family and we really, really like to share our journeys together as it make all of us better.

I haven't been up long, but I have started out my day with 2 experiences that will fuel me for the day.  I was dreaming and had a dream like the previous 2 'lesson dreams' that surprised me a bit and all I can think is that it is a warning about something that might happen today that I need to be prepared for.  Kind of a tip off about a possible offense that I want to respond to differently then I did in my dream.  Nothing extreme, but that I would like to handle in a better way.  Then I got going on my push ups and it was like  another dream.  I cruised to a stop at 60 and then wondered if I had miscounted.  I was surprised.  

 

Yesterday was pretty laid back.  Out of maybe 5 tasks  I ended up doing 4.  But I did add some exercise that I wasn't figuring on and I left the office early in order to get a good start on my end of day routine.  We had started the day with a very good almost 2 hour discussion which was edifying for us both.  And really brought us to the spiritual part which made for a better day for each of us.  I realized my greatest blessing which doesn't call me 'grandpa' but does call me 'sweety' or 'sweet heart' or 'Jay' or sometimes 'Mr. Weaver'.

It seems that I have changed a habit.  I am now writing in the morning as I have done several times recently.  After so many years of doing it at the end of the day it seems pretty normal to start my day this way.  But, it also has a strangeness about it that is quite understandable after years and even decades of doing it the other way.  It seems a bit of a mini-lesson to me about habits, and goes right along with my efforts to redefine my habits both good and bad.  Over some years I have tried to examine all of what makes me me and take the good parts and do them better and then the bad parts and change or eliminate them.  Maybe one can teach an old dog new trick.  

 

As I began this Sheila (who is sitting next to me) asked about my 57.  It is the 1st day of a new month and I was anxious about it.  If you have read my recent entries you would know that and maybe understand a bit about why I would be anxious.  Well, no sweat!  In fact, when I got done I wondered if I had really done it.  My breathing was not labored at all.  Now I have to examine why it is harder or worst at other times.  What do I need to do to be better prepared for that task.  What do I need to do differently.  And, of course, those questions are good questions to ask me anytime about everything else that I need to examine and that is what I do.