I like Sundays.  I really do.  But there is something about my Sundays recently that really bothers me.  It comes along after we get home from church and I sit down to relax and have desires to accomplish something and then I just freeze.  On FHE Sundays there is plenty to shake me out of that, but other Sundays I go into this sort of stupor and just vegitate.  My energy level drops as well as my level of desire.  By day's end I don't even have edge enough to write in my journal.  It is apathy to a degree that I find intolerable, but so overwhelming that I surrender and just let the minutes tick off until I go to bed and simply wait for Monday to start.  I guess that the only good thing is that it bugs me enough to want more and better.  I want to understand what and why so that I can fix it.  I don't want it to be that way.  I see that as my first step.  My second step is recording it this morning.  That way it is officially on my mind and high enough on my list that maybe I will keep at it so I can figure out how to overcome it.  (Suggestions are welcome.)

My initial thoughts have been that it is pretty normal in a 'personal journey plan' such as mine to have anxieties like this, which may just be the sign that that plan is actually working.    Once I figure out what is going on (and I will) then whatever hard part comes next I will deal with.  It's not as if I am a rookie at this.  I realize that this process is familiar to me.  It is called 'stretching' or 'growing' or 'making progress'  maybe even 'becoming'.  The specifics are the mystery, the generalities are well known to me.  It is just life and trying to make 'the measure of my creation'.