I really do not understand why I have failed to do this since Tuesday the 12th.  (That's almost 2 full weeks.)  I meant to write almost everyday, but I didn't.  I disappointed myself and apparently others did actually notice.  I did repent once, but still did not write.  Tonight I decided to just do it.  But I admit that for some reason I still found it hard to actually sit myself down and start.  I offer no excuse and deserve no forgiveness.  But I hope that I will honor my commitment and get back into the habit, for apparently someone does notice.  (maybe 2 someones)  Today has been a contrast to yesterday.  We had lots of family here yesterday and enjoyed the time that we spent together.  Today it was pretty much just the 2 of us except for the block time at church.  There is so much that I missed, but I don't feel like trying to catch up.  I just want to start this new month off right (April starts tomorrow) and I want not to be an April fool and just continue as I was way back on the 12th.  I really feel like I am going through a lot of schooling in my own personal journey, but I find it hard to put it into words, or figure that anyone would care to know the mental machinations of an old man.  But for me it is actually quite exciting to realize that I am still so active in the business of living and learning.  It seems that the thing about becoming 'wise' is that you mostly learn how to keep quiet because no one else cares about the lessons that you are learning.  That is really an interesting part of this growing older and wiser gig.  There is very little opportunity to share the stuff that comes in such wonderful flashes of inspiration, but seem to be destined to benefit only you.  I haven't figured out how to deal with that part of it yet.  So much to give, and so little opportunity to give it.  Tonight we watched a movie on tv about these 7 old people who end up in a pretty run down hotel in India.  The story has them each dealing with their 'oldness' in their own way.  It was easy for us to relate to parts of it, yet some of it was so far away from our reality.  The biggest difference is the gospel.  That not only is most of our reality, but it is our 'everything'.  I can't divide it from family and life and all things important, because it is family and life and all things important to me.  And because of that I will try to be true and keep up on my writing and hope to come to see that is matters.