I know that I have neglected this blog a lot this past week.  Its funny.  I have so much going on that is really intense and changing for me (and mine) yet it seems like I am not able to stand back and see it clearly enough to describe it.  I know that 'it' is happening and each day I actually feel different (in a good way) but it is as though the ride is too fast and furious for me to take the time to make any observations about it that would make sense when recorded.  Even my so called down time is full and hectic and don't conducive to 'blog time'.  Right now I am finishing up a really busy week and find that even with most of the family gone off to Yellowstone that all of this new life pattern of mine is still hard to really break down into words.  Yet I practically forced myself to do this here and now because I feel it as a need like so many other forces that 'need' me to face and do.  The word that comes back again and again is 'overwhelming' and that describes it best.  I don't claim exclusiveness in that because I figure we all have a very full life right now.  That seems to be the way of things in these, our 'last days'.  Maybe there is more to that then I realize.  In a way it is scary to me, and I am a bit uncomfortable with that.  But there is also so much goodness along with that that I am excited to get up each day and see what comes along.  I wonder if and when I look back on my present state how will I describe it with the hindsight that will come then having lived through it and hopefully passed the test and become whatever it is that this current test of mine is trying to make me become.