It's been so long that the computer had forgotten me.  I had to re-sign and almost didn't remember how to do this.  I have really fallen off at doing this,  and I could list so many excuses.  It really has been an interesting period of time in my life since January 22nd, but I can only blame myself for not keeping at it.  And today the thing that has gotten me here was thinking about our new grand daughter.  We drove down to the American Fork Hospital yesterday and visited with Shauni, Jeff and Amy.  The best word that I could come up with was 'surreal', but I am trying to find a better one.  For now I will just say that anytime we have had children or grandchildren it brings a certain, special kind of perspective that sure is different then regular moments.  It causes serious reflection, but even that word doesn't do it justice.  It just reminds me of something more and better and quite 'ungraspable'.  Anyway, I had Amy in mind when I decided that I need to do this again.  The number 31 doesn't quite compute for me either.  And, yes, I do remember all of their names.  Part of my recent past which I left unrecorded has been really, really confusing for me.  There is so much stuff going on in my life and in me that that feeling of being overwhelmed (which I have referred to before) has at times gotten the best of me.  I don't know any other way to describe it, but 'overwhelmed' doesn't adequately explain it for me.  That is part of the problem.  I can't really explain all that I am feeling.  Its like I am being stretched, filled and refined at an alarming rate.  And sometimes I just want it to stop, but not really, for it seems also to be just finally understanding it all.  It is so hard, so real and so 'overwhelming', but in such a good way.  I will close with my latest 'motto':  "Heavenly Father is used to working with imperfect people".