I woke up this morning and with it being Tuesday Sheila was up and long gone for her service at the temple.  But here I am now at the end of the day and I am alone again.  This I wasn't planning on.  I know that Sheila told me a few days ago that she would be spending the night over at Sharon's, but sometimes I hear things without hearing them.  But gone she is and I admit that I am different without her.  I feel pretty good about my day and I made a good decision tonight by going to Cortney's basketball game.  But right now I am kind of coasting and I need to come out of my coma and go to bed and then start focusing on tomorrow.  Before Sheilas left a little before 9 we had our prayer together and we recounted our wishes for the family.  We learned today that Kaleb hurt his knee and we prayed for him.  Kathy had to have a tooth pulled and we prayed for her.  Sheila also mentioned Sharon's interview tomorrow and we prayed for her.  We also called Brooklyn and wished her a happy birthday.  I asked her how old she is now and frankly 13 was not a number that I was thinking.  It all adds up to me being old, old, old.  But it is not about me because I believe my life is connected to all of you and I do not go through my day without thinking about our family.  Having seen it come into being and grow through the last 42 years it is such a huge part of me.  It centers everything I do and I am.  And frankly it is the best part of both.  I hope that I am able to stick around for a long time and watch Nicholas and Linzi and all the rest grow and live.  I just want to be there for all of you.  But I do believe that I will 'be there' even if I am not there.  I figure that that is the way that it works, but of course I don't really know.  It just makes sense that it does work that way.  That being said, I do not want to not 'be there' if I have anything to say about it.  I wonder about what our life has in store for us.