This is the real entry for Thursday night on the last day of June.  The last one was actually from last night, the 29th, but I couldn't get the darn thing to work until this morning.  I lost part of it in the process but I was pretty happy that I found most of what I had done last night and didn't have to start over from scratch.  I knew that I would have lots to do to keep me busy today.  But I also encountered a bit of a hangover from yesterday that got in my way today.  What I mean was that yesterday not only took away my mojo it also took away my energy.  I did sleep last night, but it didn't seem to restore everything so today I was quite tired.  I did not want to stop and take a nap, but I did take a few  more breaks then I usually do. Sheila was again kind enough to do my outside stuff and allow me to stay here and work.  Actually she took Kathy to do some of her errands as well.  Kathy finally has a driver's license that gives her correct name.  I did take one late afternoon trip to Cullimore's office.  Otherwise I kept myself busy in my office.  I can say that I have made it one more day, and the probability of tomorrow looks good.  So goodbye June and hello July.  It really does come at you rapidly.

What a strange day.  After getting home about 2 p.m. I was completely out of it.  I couldn't do anything but sit and chill.  I was so far removed from any  kind of a work mind set that even the simplest of tasks had no ability to attract me.  The morning spent at the court house for Sharon's 'trial' affected me that much.  I have spent much of my time since I got back home trying to figure out what it is that happened to me.  I recognize it as having happened to me before but not so dramatically.  I finally figured, after some advice from Sheila, that I needn't feel guilty about it.  Just accept it and look starting over in morning.


As for the 'trial:  I was bored to death and so glad that I am not an attorney or a judge.  Sharon's attorney was alright, but Jeff's 'mouthpiece' seem to me to be a real loser.  Let's hope that when the decision if finally rendered that the Judge agrees.  


I am writing this the next morning because the computer killed me last night.  I was happy to see part of it saved, but the last part was a reconstruction.  So the main points from "yesterday":   happy to be there to support Sharon   happy to see other family and friends there as well   really only felt pity for Jeff, he has turned into such a dark and forlorn shell of a person    surprised at how out of it I was the rest of the day     feel good this morning, but have lots to do to catch up with my life which did not stop during my time of service, but that is as it should be.

I actually have to get up early in the morning.  It is a big day for Sharon, so it is a big day for us.  I'm not sure if I would be doing this for myself, but since she asked me to be there---there I will be.  I'm talking about Sharon's day in court.  Who can say just what will happen?  I have my ideas and I also have my druthers, but I won't try to predict anything, except that 1- it might finally come to an end, and 2- I feel that it will work out for the best.  We'll all know tomorrow.

My today wasn't anything compared to tomorrow.  I did a little work and a little studying and I watched a lot of Mormon Messages on the computer.  Course all of that led to a lot of good pondering.  I am getting real good at that.  It's a good thing the "the gift of pondering" is considered a gift of the spirit.  (I can recite evidence to that!)  Otherwise I would show a lot of my time wasted instead of being counted as used well and proper. For now I am still looking for that perfect day, but I'll settle for today being a normal, good and pretty average one.  That's really saying a lot.

The first part of my day I had a hard time getting myself to work.  After I got the pressing things done I watched some tennis from Wimbleton and worked sparingly.  Later in the day I had more pressing things to do so I got busier and did what I needed to do.  For me it is easy to get out of the mood to work.  Today was an example of that, but I did persevere and finished the tasks even though I could have easily left it all for tomorrow.  I even started my preparation for my priesthood lesson for July 23rd!  I'll study that material now most every day for the next four weeks.  By then I might know the material well, and I might also have actually absorbed it too.

Because of Sheila and Richard I was able to stay at home all day.  I really like my commuting time and I am so used to just being here able to work without leaving that I know that I am spoiled and would have a real hard time if things changed and I had to go to work to earn a living.  Sometimes I complain, but I still feel very grateful when I think about the time 2 years ago when things worked out so well for me and Richard to become certified as private investigators.  I am able to feel that anxiety again, and the wonderful feeling of relief that I felt when it became official.  I try to see everything in my life through a spiritual perspective.  It brings me a sense of peace and also many feelings that I am unable to explain to myself.  But when I allow myself, I do admit a closeness to wonderful things.  It is special to me, but I know that certain things that may be special to one don't necessarily have any meaning to others.  So if that means anything to you, fine, if not, that's okay too.  I am so grateful for the way things are in my life.  President Benson once spoke of being grateful for the 3 "w" s in his life.  "W"s appealed to me (Weaver) so I have often expressed gratitude for my 'worship' my 'wife' and my 'work'.  About all that I am and have can be included in one of those ''W"s when I see them for all that they include (wife=family) (worship=all that is divine) and (world=everything else.) 

As for right now I am grateful that I have made it through another day AND that I have another one on my horizon.

There are many things about today that were special.  I guess that I have enjoyed several moments when I felt really good.  I had a few tired moments too, but I tried not to nap too much, and to take advantage of my Sunday.  Sunday does have a special feel to it, and I did have some of those moments.  Sometime I would like to have a dream like "Joseph Smith's last dream" which I watched yesterday and then again today.  That would be an awesome experience and I do have a little of that sometimes when I feel the emotion of my love for the gospel bubbling over inside myself.  It doesn't even have to be a Sunday for that to happen.  But certain videos that I have seen and certain things that I have read or things that I have been able to experience tend to 'do that' to me.  Today I got to hold my (our) newest granddaughter in my hands and reflecting on that does effect me.  Also, to have other grand children crawl onto my lap and hold on to me does too.  This gruff old guy does have some tenderness about him.  And I appreciated my blessing so much that if I let it, it tends to overwhelm me.  I do know better, but the skeptical side of me helps me keep it pretty much in check.  And it doesn't take much for me to realize that as wonderful as it makes me feel my own human part gets in the way too easily.  But I am getting better.  I hope that you can understand what I am talking (writing) about.

Maybe I relaxed too much.  I had such high hopes for today.  When Sheila got up I had already been up for a while and we talked about our Saturday.  We both had lessons to prepare for and we talked about other tasks that we wanted to get done.  Then we went on toward our day and reality sort of took over.  When I went to the post office at 10 my day changed drastically because of new work that I received in the mail.  I guess that was a good thing because it was all good stuff for Monday, and even though it took me a long time to get it ready it was good.  I did work and watch "Secondhand Lions" at the same time.  I let some things go, but I eventually did get my lesson prepared and I also got the bookkeeping for my week done.  I won't say that I relaxed my way to a bad day, but I could have done more. (But I can say that about virtually any and every day.)  I do want to spend some time now to prepare mentally for tomorrow.  My desk is organized and waiting for Monday.  My notes are ready for tomorrow.  I expect things to go well and that my Sunday will be a good day.  We anticipate seeing our new grand daughter tomorrow night.  And, my cold sore is about gone too!

"Relax" is a wonderful word.  I hope that to relax can almost never be defined as a negative.  I'm sure that it might be under certain circumstances, but right now my use of the word describes a good thing--a really good thing.  My whole self is all for relaxing.  It is time to put myself into a different place and just relax.  I can't say that I have worked so hard that I deserve this, or that I would die if I wasn't able to do it.  But I look forward to it and I am going to enjoy it.  I guess that I did do something good today.  Sheila was gone a lot of today doing good stuff.  First the was at Chase's 8th birthday party helping Shelli. She told me that there were more then 18 kids at the party.  She also played taxi driver to and from and got back in time to send Amanda Rae and Aubree off with their dad for a month's visit.  Shortly after I was trying to convince her to do some errands for me when she got a phone call.  A ward sister needed help so off she went.  Not too much later she came back with 2 extra 'tendee's' to go along with the other 3 dropped of to my care while she was away.  I actually played 'sitter' (warden) a little bit to help out.  Around 6 the dad of the 2 came and got them and I retired and she continued tending.  So her whole day has been service.  I get to count about an hour.  But my hour took its toll.  I have expended my energy.  I am now officially 'relaxing'.

Just when I get to feeling like I'm just going through the motions with my check-the-church job I find that I am doing more then taking a late night stroll with my wife.  (At least she went with me tonight, but it is not a normal routine thing)  Anyway, we turn the corner to the church and see a dark building and I figure we're just checking what has already been checked. Lo, and behold, the very first door that we check and the one least likely to be left unlocked is unlocked! So the rest of the routine is routine, but that one was a big one.  

I thought Sheila did good on the computer yesterday, but today with some coaching from Shelli she did what I consider a major techno-deal.  She copied Colton's Facebook and story onto her Facebook page (wall). Took her over 20 minutes, but she did it and that is the big thing.  She is jumping ahead of me in large leaps!

My day was almost like yesterday except I did leave the house and drive on morning rounds, to drop Sheila and Amanda Rae and Aubree at the movie theater and then off to get gas and to go to Sharon's and to Cullimore's Attorney office.   So my day was okay, but it wasn't as profitable as Jimmer's was, but then Jimmer is not me.

I found some kids playing basketball at the church and I thought of running them off, but I didn't, good thing.  A little later they were testing doors in the offices and I learned that they were looking for their 'uncle Todd' (that's uncle Todd as in Bishop Todd as in Bishop Hilbig).  He was still in a meeting so they went back to play and I just told them to turn off the lights when they got done.  They didn't last much longer and were gone before I was done (and they did turn off the lights). 

That was my only time away from the  house today.  I did go outside to get the paper this morning near 7 am and I did go out to get the mail and meet a client at the door, but otherwise I was inside --oh--I did go into the back yard and clean out the skimmer with the hose, but everything else was inside.  I am turning into a real 'office-body'.

One announcement for the day:  Sheila made a comment on her Facebook 'wall' (I think) about our new granddaughter.  Who says we old folks are incompetent when it comes to technology?

Well, we do have a new granddaughter.  Her name is Avery.  We hope to be able to see her tomorrow.  I am most pleased that everything went fine, and both mother and daughter are doing well.  It was a little different then the last 22.  But it still is a thrill to realize that a new person is here and now a part of our family, never to be parted from us.  I really look forward to seeing her grow and becoming a part of my life.  It is really a miraculous thing. 

Sheila's day has been much more pressing then mine, but I have had myself a good day.  Looks like tomorrow will be even busier and probably much more productive.  Sheila was us at 4 and off to the temple.  There were 5 sisters missing from her shift so she was pretty busy and couldn't leave early to help out with Amanda Rae so I got Richard to help and got Amanda Rae to where she needed to be.  Then Sheila had dinner with Lora and Sandra and was gone for about 2 and 1/2 hours.  That left me to heat up leftovers for another meal today.  Later I realized that we saved money because I ate Sunday left overs for lunch (clam chowder) and meatball for dinner (Sunday-meatballs and Monday spaghetti).  Now I'm ready to shift my focus to Wednesday now that summer has started and Avery has been born, and Colton got his tube job done today.  (What am I forgetting?)

Tomorrow we should be able to greet our 23rd grand child.  Shauni called today and said that she had been admitted but felt like it would happen tomorrow.  It will be a wonderful event and is no matter how many times you go through it.  Yesterday was Father's Day and I still have sort of a strange feeling about it.  It was nice to have the kids recognize my role, but I am concerned more about the total picture then one day.  I do admit that my kids make me feel good about that most all of the time.  I wish I could do more for them, but I can't do it for me either.  I just mean that life doesn't give any of us everything that we want in the way that we want it.  Once I caught on to that things got a lot easier for me. So as I have said and written many times before, I just take it as it comes and realize that I can never get it all done at once.  

Today has been pretty normal in that respect.  I did some good and let some other good go by the way.  I get to the end of the day and I shift from thinking about today and what it brought and start on tomorrow.  My expectation will be high until Tuesday has its say and it will end up less in some ways, and more in others.  Then when tomorrow has come and gone the rhythm will just keep on going.

I actually had help on my church rounds tonight.  AmandaRae and Brooklyn stayed with me when  went inside to lock things up and many of the family had been with be for an outside inspection.  I ha caught up with them on their walk around the block and after a lengthy visit at the Hilbig home we continued on around the block and I got my service done.  It has been a busy day since the family got here for dinner.  --Sherri's family  Shelli's family   Richard and Kathy  Sharon (Zach and Linzi were dropped off her around 7 p.m.)  Sharolyn and David left just before Linzi and Zach got here.   I enjoyed my clam chowder, but many others didn't seem to like it so we have plenty left over.  They gave me a nice card (I'll have to record it next time) and some gift card money for a meal and a movie.  The whole day has been nice, but I think that the walk was near the nicest part.  Now I really need to focus to change my mood back to work by tomorrow.  It's hard enough after one day, but I have had 2.  I still believe what I wrote last night.  I get some respect for being a dad, but Sheila is the one that did the important work.  I owe her so much.  I am grateful to share it all with her.

I did have every intention of it being a relatively normal Saturday:  a little work, and little down time, maybe a little TV.  But shortly after I got up at 8:00 a.m. it all changed.  And to think that Sheila was in on it the whole time!  I was sitting there in our bedroom in my pajamas when the patter of little feet broke the moment.  Our youngest son and family were here to fix breakfast in honor of Father's Day.  That changed my mood for the day and I never did recover.  (not that that was a bad thing)  We had a nice and big breakfast and a nice time just talking, and when they left I was toast.  Richard did not come back to the office on Friday so I left work until he adds what he had (whenever that will be).  I spent time 'pondering' (with and without eyes closed) until Sharolyn and David got here in the afternoon after which we all went to dinner.  That  made 2 big meals for the day and that along with my mood change to vacation mode pretty well did me in for the day.  I look forward to others coming tomorrow and another day of no work, and even better, more Father's Day attitude.  It always makes me feel good, but it also embarrasses me a bit because I give all of the credit to the mother.

Physically I feel kind of , well, I'm tired.  I feel sweaty and uncomfortable.  I actually had almost dozed off when I got up to walk over to the church to do my duty.  So that kind of half awake half asleep feeling is here.  My feet hurt a little bit because I am wearing my church shoes on a Friday night and even though its been well more then two years since we bought them they still hurt if I wear them too long or do any amount of walking in them.  So my walk to the church was just exacerbating (there's a good work for your vocabulary) the situation because we had gone to a viewing earlier and were standing in line for what seemed longer then the 30-45 minutes.  So my body is not only tired, but my muscles have had it and want me to get the day over with.  But despite the physical discomfort I feel really good.  I know that it is because we did something good that we didn't have to do, and we were supposed to do it and we did.  I am referring to the viewing.  Our across the street neighbors Pete and Norma, well, Norma's father died.  We both knew that Heavenly Father wanted us to go there.  I don't understand why, but I just knew that that was what we needed to do.  So I dressed up (hence the church shoes) and we drove to American Fork.  It wasn't much of a sacrifice, in fact, I quite enjoyed being there with my sweetheart, and of course it was far enough removed that the loss was minimal for us.  But somehow I got repaid for such a simple thing that you'd think I had done something wonderful.  At least that is the way I feel right now.  Sheila had gone to the store when I started my 'doze' and then walked over to the church and was here when I got back.  I thought that both of us were supposed to be there for Norma.  Me, I got a couple of hugs while joking that I could get away with it there.  And Sheila, well, I just think that there will be something more to come of this in the future.  What, I do not know, but there was something special about doing what we did, and I really feel good that we did it.  It may be nothing, but then again....

Right now some of our family are down in Manti, Utah waiting for the Manti Pageant to begin.  It is scheduled for about 9:30 p.m.  I hope that they are snug and warm.  I also hope that they enjoy not only the pageant, but the time that they spend together.  I understand that they will drive back towards home as far at Payson and camp out there at a friend's place.  The late hour scared me off as did the outside part of the outside event.  I find that I don't do so well in that environment.  A brisk walk to the church like the one I just had fills my quota for the day.  But my thoughts are with them.  One of the things that I ponder is my family.  One of the things that I most dislike about this world that we live in is the disconnect because of time and space with our loved ones.  But doing things for them and they for us does keep us connected.  Sheila went over to Sharon's around 7 to pick up my office work and to let the dog out.-woof!!! 

Last night I wrote about this new project that I want to learn how to do.  It is new to me now, but I know the process that would make it second nature after some time.  But today I was reluctant to get into it.  I'm not sure why.  It still seems hard to know what it requires.  I know I will get to it, but as of now I am still toying with the idea.  I do that sometime.  I seem to have to think a while about some things before I am ready to take them on.  That's not a bad thing, but I am a little surprised that I am reluctant about this project. 

Tomorrow marks the end of this work week and more then half of the month of June.  Can't believe it!  Next on our list is Shauni and her new baby.  Oh, I know its not yet, but at this rate it'll be time for the blessing before you know it.  It is interesting to get old and see how time does such a different number on you.

There is one thing that I have experienced a lot in my life time.  The most vivid memories I have of this thing are from my mission.  I am talking about doing something, or seeing something for the first time.  It also applies to learning something for the first time.  What I am talking (writing) about is this idea of something brand new or new to you--you know, something that happens to you for the first time.  I have an image of places I saw in Australia and I have a bit of an impression of the first time I was there.  That feeling was awkward and sometimes frustrating, but as time passed and I became familiar with 'it' I became comfortable and accustomed and that is a good feeling.  Any new place, task or idea comes with that break-in period before you start to become familiar with it.  Virtually our whole life is full of those kinds of experiences.  Any big change or new stage comes with that newness that needs to be overcome.  Usually just some time will do the trick.  Other things require some effort, maybe even a lot of effort and a lot of time.  But eventually we get familiar and comfortable with even drastic changes or very different surroundings.  I have come to anticipate the 'newness' feeling and even though it does have some frustration it has like a new adventure feel to it as well.  I had one of those just tonight.  I was on lds,org and found a new site called THE VINEYARD.  It is a new church thing that gives opportunity for service in small ways on a computer in our own space and time.  I got on and even after some instructions I felt that awkward rookiness.  It reminded me of my first months (years!) learning how to use the computer.  Right now I feel clunky and feeble just trying to understand what it is all about.  But I also feel that I will figure it out and enjoy it and do well in this new opportunity.  It is just one thing but it is what my life is and has been these 64 + years.  That is, encountering new things, struggling to understand and master them and then becoming somewhat proficient and even competent at a new task.  You might find it interesting and challenging for you too.  Try it if you like, but watch for the reports of my efforts as I try to learn something new.

Today is Tuesday, isn't it?  I have to think about it because I have lost track of time today.  Funny, there are times when I would like to lose track of time and I can't.  So today I have no special reason either way, but my inner feeling time-space widget sort of went to sleep.  It is a certain kind of mood or frame of  mind or something when the day and time just seems to fade away in to the background.  It might also have something to do with old age too.  I am near 23,900 days so it isn't any wonder that from time to time they seem to run together.

Sheila was able to go back to the temple today.  I like it when she is there doing her calling.  When she gets home we talk and she tells me about her morning.  Usually there is a story of people doing weird things, even some un-temple like behavior from time to time. She really is well liked and respected by those that she works with.  It makes me think of the two of us in a different time and circumstance doing something in that setting, but like I just wrote, that is for a different time and setting. 

My day has been okay.  Quite ordinary though.  I dream of having something extraordinary happen that I could write about, but ordinary seems to be my lot.  I can't complain though.  Because even "ordinary" is only a context.  And with careful examination it might not be the best work to describe my life.  Its like the use of the word "unusual" that is a conundrum to the tow of us.  We feel that we are very "usual" yet we do find things about us that could be called "unusual".  Maybe we just need to look at our lives with a different lens.  Either way it is the only life that we have so we'll just keep on plugging away and see what comes along.

My priesthood lesson in two weeks is about 'desire'.  I have put in a lot of time pondering the subject.  I have also done some time fantasying about it.  There are so many things that I would like to be able to do 'if'.  But I know better.  I've spent a lot of years learning what I can't do.  I'm pretty used to it now, so I try not to waste time thinking about those things that are simply outside of my own personal realm of possibility.  But when it come to family I do wish more often hoping that somehow the situations will be met even if I am unable to meet them.  I guess that I a pretty normal that way.  Most decent people would like to see good things happen and many do what they can to try to help.  I am so limited in what I can do, but I still try to do something and hopefully something of what I do do is helpful.  All I can do is what I can do in the situation that I am in. 

If I keep my 'desire' in reasonable territory there is still a lot that I can ponder on and hopefully do to set them in order and try to define them and try to do something about them.  The other night I realized how much my desires have changed.  I had asked myself the question:  'Do desires change?'  I answered my own question: 'They better be able to change or we would be in a sorry state.'  It is an interesting study to examine our most personal desires and see how they have changed from our early days and throughout our lives.  It is a pretty good measure of our own growth to measure the growth of our desires.  We are told that what we desire most will be what we become.  But sometimes we try to fool ourselves and think one think and do another.  Our desires have to be consistent, persistent and resistant and we must be insistent! If we can do all that with honesty and integrity we will find joy along with whatever else it is that we have desired to become.  If you think that that sounds simple you haven't lived much.  It isn't.  But worth it, no matter the price, yes.

Sunday, Sunday and Sunday   I ought to treat it differently and mostly I do, but sometimes I just treat it like another Saturday.  I need to do better.  I thought of one of my 'thoughts':  SOMETIMES GOOD IS THE ENEMY OF GREAT.  Today was a good day, but perhaps it could have been great with a little less of this and a little more of that.  I heard something in Sunday School today that caught my attention.  The teacher was reading a statement by an Apostle (I can't remember which one) which was describing talents or gifts that one might be blessed with.  One that surprised me was the 'gift of pondering'.  I do believe that I have that gift.  I do now, but did not always have it.  I should count it as having been given to me (after all it is a 'gift').  And now that I see it for what it is I need to hold on to it and cherish it all the more.  Who says you can't learn something from an average teacher.  (I guess that I have, but I was wrong.) 

I read Shelli's blog and re-felt those good, but soggy feelings about what is going on in her life.  She quoted me in telling her that there need to be receivers in order for there to be givers.  I hope that with practice it won' be as uncomfortable for her to be given something by people who love her and want good things for her and her family.  Maybe I too could do it better too.  I did get a couple of good compliments today at church and I admit that I too was a little uncomfortable.  So here we are, all of us on the same journey and one of the many things that we need to learn is to be good givers and receivers.  ( actually two of many, many many things)  Night,  Hope to know that you are alive by you making comments to me on my blog!

A week ago I wrote what I had said in church that day:  "No man is an island.  No man stands alone.  Each man's joy is joy to me, each man's grief is my own."  That is my joy right now.  We talked to Shelli earlier today and I just looked at mom's Facebook where she posted a comment.  It warms my soul.  I know that Shelli's feelings are overwhelming and I would have to say that if I let it, mine are too.  It helps balance out the pain that is mine sometimes too when I see hurt in other's lives. Many I'm not the curmudgeon that I pretend to be. It adds to what I consider a pretty good day:  a little work, a lot of serious thinking and some time off and away from life and some hard exercise of the old emotion muscle.  My today has had all of that.  Sheila and I watched "The Blind Side" this afternoon.  I enjoyed it so much that once I thought of where I was and for a moment I couldn't remember.  I did figure it out, but not knowing seemed quite a delicious moment, one that I hardly ever remember happening to me before.  I am learning to be able to take life as it comes.  I can't change much of it, but I am in control of how I receive it.  Oh yeah, today I listed to the opera Carman.  There was actually some of it that was familiar to me.  There seems to be something to this classical music.  Its as if it occupies both the left side and the right side of my brain.  Or that's what Michael Ballam said in a program on opera that I listened to this morning.  (And yes, that is the right spelling, I just googled him.) I am listening to classical music right now too.  But all good things must come to an end.  I hope to spend as much time as it takes for the ritual ending of my day and it's already 9:18 p.m.  Good Night...

Sometimes I just sort of check out and turn into a zombie.  It is usually due to a down moment like when I come to the end of a day at the end of a week.  I turn off and look to start all over when the sun comes up.  Thinking about it I realize that I have not always had the luxury to be able to do that.  It is actually a nice privilege that I have not always been able to enjoy.  I know that I am only taking leave of my senses for a short time and I will get back on track and do what is expected of me.  But for a couple of hours I just let go and watched a movie on TV more because it was on then  because I wanted to watch it.  It did end up being quite sad, but it was a different story and did catch my interest.  Anyway, I had gotten back from the church and Sheila was still tending kids so I just sat down and entertained myself.  I did hear the sounds that I figure was Robert coming to get the kids and now I wonder what Sheila is doing.  I remember doing stuff like this when I was a teenager.  During the summer when there was no school I would stay up late and watch an old movie just because I could and I didn't have to get up early.  We did have quite a busy afternoon.  We had what turned out to be lots of errands that we did before we went to dinner.  When we got home Sheila called Shauni and we sang (!?) happy birthday to her.  I' m sure that she could have done without that, but she just took it like a good sport.  I feel a little pressure to sort of rebound now.  I do have my regular nightly rituals to do before I can go to bed.  But at least I did my duty here.  So tomorrow will be the 1st day of the rest of my life, and it will be a good, new start with plenty to do if I allow myself to think about it.

Again I did my security/church/night time stroll/walk in the park thing.  But this time I had a companion.  I'm not sure why, but she did accept my invitation to go with me.  I did have to wait for her food fight/war/competition TV show to get over with first.  But then we were off for an uneventful 15 minutes or so.  When we got back she used MY computer for a task and then was making her way up the stairs when I called for her to return.  I had found Shelli's blog had a new (within the hour) entry.  We already know most of it because she had been here before she went home.  But I did make Sheila read it all again before I allowed her to leave.  I sought to me more nice to her.  After all she did do right by me today.  (She always does and then I go being mean to her!)

As Shelli wrote we did have Hunter, Chase and Logan here for a few hours.  When they got back Richard and Kathy got here so the girls were up stairs talking and the guy (the old guys) were down stairs watching a ball game on TV.  At half time they all up and left so Sheila stayed upstairs talking to herself, and I stayed down stairs watching my ball game.  "My" team did win, but it was too close for me.  I like blow outs and if my team loses I get mean and ornery.  So I was in a good mood when we went for our stroll around the church.  Funny how a new church can change your life.  Now I have a whole new schedule what with staying up later at night.  It doesn't do anything for my morning though, so I still have to get up early.  But even that isn't a big thing for me as it has been in times past in my life.  I guess being old has an effect too.  It has changed my candle at both ends, and yet I still live, and in fact, am quite healthy.

I just returned from my security rounds at the church.  I found one window ajar and while I was wondering how I would remedy the problem I found a door ajar so I was able to get in and fix the window, and, of course, I fixed the door as well.  It was my first time actually inside of the building this week alone, and I remember the blessing in my setting apart that mentioned times when I would be in a dark building all by myself.  It could be spooky, but it wasn't.  I did, however, imagine the police pulling up to check out some old geezer seemingly casing a church building.  I wondered how persuasive I would be to convince them I was innocent of a crime.

I returned to my office and kicked Robert off of my computer.  He just left along with his 3 munchkins.  Of course, grandma sent them off with kiddy paper plates and cups, and probably some candy too.  I used the treadmill a little bit just over an hour ago and that plus my walk to, from and around the church got me sweating a bit.  It wasn't hot, or even warm, but it wasn't too bad. Now I will have to cool down and unwind before I am able to relax enough to go to bed.  That's okay though, because I like to read, and think and e-evaluate and r-revise before I lay down and do more thinking and  more e and r.

Today felt like a much better day.  Yesterday was a little 'stinky' to me and I decided that today would be better.  And it was.  It seems like we have quite easily fallen into our new routine even after just 2 days. (one day, actually)  We're still trying to figure out what this stage of our life is all about, but we are having some fun for sure.  Pressure is still there, but it is a different kind of pressure, the kind that challenges every part of who we are.  (or who we want to be)  My plan is for us to be up to the challenge.

I just got back from my security check of the church.  This time I had my bodyguard with me.  Everything was all dark and locked up tight.  I have to say that I did enjoy it more with company then I did last night on my own.  Sheila ought to be really tired right now.  She was up at 4 and that's the 1st time in at least 3 weeks.  She did have to have a nap this afternoon which meant that I had to do my rounds and by myself.  What a burden!  I overheard her talking on the phone with Shauni this afternoon.  I was stuck by the fact the there will be a new member of our family by month's end!  I kn ow that she is getting to the point that she wants if over and I can understand that as much as a guy can.  I wonder if any of us realize the great service that is done when we (especially you women) share in the role of parenthood.  It is really the most heavenly thing that we do here, but I'm sure that we get a little apathetic about it.  It is really a wonderful act of love and unselfishness.  Father's Day may be the next official holiday, but everyday should be Mother's Day.

I was awakened at 4 but I didn't get up until 6:30 a.m.  I was able to be busy most of the day, but I didn't do as well as I did yesterday.  Tomorrow will be different because it will be the 1st time in a month with Sheila here all day without other stuff to take her away.  I intend to make her work hard! (?)

Today I broke my copy machine in order to get it to work.  I just hope that the fix (?) lasts and I don't have to get it repaired or replaced for a long time.  You know, just when I get comfortable thinking things are going better I have a slow paper day.  Good thing that I can be slower in one place and still be okay in another place so it all averages out.  Such was today.  There was enough good that the stinky stuff was tolerable.  But I'll be at it again in the morning.  Remember P.I.E.R   ( Does anyone remember what that stands for?)

I just finished my first 'sentry duty' at the church.  I walked around pulling on doors and pushing at windows checking for breeches and I had to call my 'boss' and report 2 windows not secure.  I would have gone in and fixed the problem, but I don't have my key yet.  I also reported that 2 items from the yard sale last Saturday are still there.  It shouldn't be too hard on me to do this, but I am only doing it because I was asked. (called)

Sheila told me that she doesn't look forward to getting up at 4 in the morning.  But she is happy to be able to be back at the temple.  This begins a whole new schedule again, just like it used to be.

My day has been quite weird.  I had quite a bit of time to do nothing today, but I think that I used it well. I might have looked like I was doing nothing, but I re-read 2 General Conference talks and did some serious thinking about them and a couple of other private study subjects.  It was really quite refreshing to have the time to be able to do that.  I also did some research on those subjects and was pleased with what I was able to learn.

I also took time to e-mail my cousin Bobby who is the head financial guy at Southern Virginia University.  He responded to my e-mail and I forwarded both to the Porter's and to my sister, Mary.  It felt good to have established contact with a distant family member and I look forward to good stuff for Nicholas as he will have opportunity to get to know Bobby when he gets to the university.  It just feels, well, kinda family warm and fuzzy. 

I did do some of my office work, although most of that was done last Saturday.  And I kept on listening to my classical music.  I also started to walk on our 'new' treadmill.  When you're old and out of the habit it can be hard to get back into something like that.  I did 3 5 minute walks.  I intend to build up to more as time goes on.  I built up to my 42 very slowly and now that is relatively easy for me morning and night.  No matter what you do there is always room to improve.  And I try for that in my reading, in my studying in my exercise routine and especially in  personal communion.  I can honestly say that I have made substantial progress in all of those areas.  I am even a better husband.  We heard that fun was had by those who attended our F.H.E. last night.  We did too.  We really do have lots to look forward to, and hope that you-all see it that way too.

Boy, has it been a full day!  I tried not to speculate about my interview with a member of the Bishopric, but I admit to some.  And it was all wrong too.  I would never have guessed.  Bro. Bill called me to the building 'security' team.  Whose are the old men who make sure that the building is locked up at night.  In a way it was a relief, but in a way it was kind of a downer.  But a calling is a calling....  I did get up in testimony meeting and was first in line after the Bishop.  I actually had a 'gem' come to mind and I quoted "No man is an island.  No man stands alone.  Each man's joy is a joy to me.  Each man's grief is  my own."  Just remembering it was a fulfillment of a blessing in my Patriarchal Blessing.  I do believe that I added to the tone of the meeting, which was quite positive and uplifting.  Then Sheila and I drove over to the Wentworth where we spoke and did alright.  I saw her's as her best yet, and I felt happy about my talk, but neither of us is making anything big over it.  Late4r while she worked on dinner and cookies we talked and I napped some.  After 4 and coming up on 5 the family arrived and with Sherri's family, Richard and Kathy, Shelli's family and Linzi and Zach we enjoy the fine meal Sheila prepared and then had a very nice lesson which was also prepared by Sheila.  We had 2 closing prayers (Logan and Zach) and then just hung out until almost 10 p.m.  It was so relaxed and casual and fun.  I have so much on my mind.  I hope to hang on to most of in as well as all that will come as a result of Monday.  But it will be much easier because of all that I did on Saturday to prepare for the new work week. 

We turned on our air conditioner today.  Now my office is too cold and I will have to figure a way to deal with that.  But I am excited to move forward.  The family sure has lots going in as well.  They are all so busy.  We can't keep up with it all so that makes nights like tonight that much more important.  Wish all of them could be here with us. 

I have been real weird today.  It started when I woke up around 7:20 a.m.  I just got up.  I'm not quite sure why, but I got up as if I meant to.  I read my scriptures and did my 42 and dressed and walked over to the church to the huge yard sale that was going on.  I found that the tread mill that I had looked at last night was still there and I inquired and got a good price so I bought it.  I came back home and woke Sheila up and told her what I had done.  She said that she had dreamed about me buying it and paying $540.00!  I told her that I paid $50.00.  She felt that she could live with that, but if I had paid $540.00 then I ought not to have come home.  That event started a chain of events that would change our day.  Sheila had had lots of plans for the day, but now they included a virtual spring cleaning of my office.  We had enjoyed a little more space for about 12 hours, but that would now be filled.  But with her cleaning and moving and rearranging we did end up with more room, a cleaner room, and a new-used treadmill intended for her as much as for me.  By the time that she got done with the scrub down of my office and the 'guys' delivered the item I had gone quite off the deep end.  I had changed my background music from LDS hymns to Classic 89 radio from KBYU and was actually listening to opera when the delivery guys showed up.  I can't explain it.  I ask myself who am I and what did I do with myself?  I actually enjoyed that music and will probably listen to it now as my regular background music.  Imagine me and classical music!  Can you believe it?  I did listen to it for several hours as I got everything done for Monday that I could think of.  It took me up until about 2 pm to finish and then I sat down and watched college rugby on tv.  Oh, I can't remember just when the call came but Sheila said that it was someone from the Bishopric who asked us to speak at the "Wentworth" (old folks home) Branch tomorrow morning.  She did not want to, but she relented and we will. (She is feeling more pressure to write a talk tonight along with her regular Saturday night chores.  After she went grocery shopping (FHE meal at the top of her list) I told her that I had received a phone call for me to meet with someone from the Bishopric before our block in the morning.  That surprised me and I have absolutely no idea what it will be about.  I do admit that this whole day has got met feeling really weird.  I feel good-weird, very much good-weird.  But I don't know what to think about it.  Then I read that there is a whole new church program regarding senior couple missionaries that has got some new and strange ideas running around in my head.  I feel overwhelmed!  Its like I can hardly wait to turn the page and see what I read next.

Seems like just a day or two ago that I started a new month on my desk calendar.  Now the whole first week is about X-d over.  Sheilas reminded me that it was last Friday when we went to Rafael's Mexican Restaurant for dinner with my family to touch bases with Doug before he leaves for his mission.  That doesn't seem like a week ago either.  Funny how the busier I become the behinder I get.  And the older I get the faster the days fly by.  Since the Monday holiday my work has been a blur.  I imagine that Sheila's has too.  She's had those 2 work shifts for the last 4 days.  Now a reprieve and then back to it on Monday, but hopefully that will be done for a season and she will actually go back to her temple shift on Tuesday morning. Her works plans for the next school year are still quite up in the air.  Who knows, maybe I'll need to hire her myself if my work keeps getting better.  It would be real nice to be able to get back on top of things again.

I'm here in my office and Sheila is upstairs.  We are waiting for some Young Men folks to come and take away my weights and lifting bench.  We are donating it to a fund raiser for our ward youth.  At least it will get it out of my office and too bad for the grand kids who won't be able to play on it anymore.    Sheila just came down and asked if she should call again.  The did say that they would be here between 7 and 8.  (It's now 9:01 p.m.)  But Richard is about an hour late himself.  He figured 8 and that was well past normal for him, but then this hasn't been any kind of a 'normal' day for us either.  We did go to dinner at the Asian Buffet.  Sheila let me indulged myself and go where I wanted to go.

They are here carrying it out.  Leaders and no young men. (course compare to me they are young men--Bro's  Ross and Blackham   Oh and Richard and Kathy just got here too.  So now I can work myself into exhaution.  (Cut I do get to sleep in in the morning!),

As if I wasn't busy enough I actually sort of took myself a vacation today.  For some strange reason that I can't explain I decided to watch a movie.  A few weeks back Kathy & Richard had loaned us a dvd player.  The one we had previously sort of ate itself up and the grand kids needed their video fix.  All I knew about it was that it showed up one day.  We took advantage of it over the Memorial Day week end when we had all of those movies that we rented.  So today I had the urge so I popped my 2 disc French "Count of Monte Cristo" in and watched about 6 hours of it.  With all of the versions of it that I have seen before I was surprise that I had forgotten so much of this version.  I didn't like it quite as much as I remembered because some of the scenes in the other versions are memorable, but this version had a few of those too.  So it took me away for several hours and I even changed my mind when I got done about watching the NBA ball game.  I have cashed in all of my tv chips so it is time to turn the machine off and just finish up my day.  We haven't heard for the Porters about their trip.  I am anxious to hear how it went.  I know how it finished, but not about the Virginia part.  I also am looking forward to having my wife back again.  This working all day stuff is hard on me (and her too).  But it will be over soon.  I am glad that the week is almost over.  It has really been quite busy.  I do wish that all of you would be coming to Sunday night, but I know that that isn't going to happen.  I just wish that it would (poor me). So much going on so little ability to deal with it all and --'now write something positive' is the order from the boss lurking to my right and reading this over my shoulder---so much to appreciate.  I may still be waiting for my 'impending', but the stuff that is actually happening each day is really quite spectacular and satisfying.  Hope that it is for you too.

I figure that Russ and Sherri and Nicholas ought to back home by now.  I wasn't aware that they were making such a vacation out of it and would be gone this long.  I did learn that they had flown stand-by and when they got to Denver this morning they could not find a flight to SLC until tomorrow.  I was told by Cortney that they chose to fly to Idaho Falls where they would rent a car to drive home to Ogden.  I hope that they trip was worth the hassle.  I am anxious to hear about how it went.  And I would like to know if they made a connection with my cousin. Bobby Huch.  Hopefully there will be a phone call tomorrow to share some of that information. 

My day has been busy, busy, busy.  I have seen more new work than I have had in a long time.  It is too soon for me to start depending on things being the way that they have been in years past, but there is certainly more hope to that end now then there has been.  What with Sheila working so much now it really makes for a heavy schedule.  I know that she likes it and they like the work that she is doing (no surprise there) but it does affect the way I work too.  Next week she will be off for the summer so that will give us a couple of months for us to fall back into bad habits that will have to be confronted later of if she does go to work full time or even if she stays a 'sub-nut'.  Seems like the rest of this year which has flown by will bring more changes as well.  We know about our 2 more grand kids.  But it appears that my work is changing, and her work will change and there are a lot of other things that can change too.  I find it kind of exciting.

My wife just came back down stairs with a waste basket in her hand.  She decided to get the garbage out tonight because she won't have much time as she gets up at 6 to be off by about 10 to 7.  She is also going to do some office work because I am such a slave driver.  But at least I was able to pay her some money so she can pay the bills.  This world that we live in, but are not 'of'. 

Sheila just showed me a text from Sherri saying that they did get home just a few minutes ago (near 9:30 p.m.)  I'll wager that they are happy to be back home.