The thought struck me this morning that I spend a lot of my time alone. I thought for a while about that and whether I feel alone. If feeling 'alone' is a bad feeling then I don't feel loneliness. It's not just that I am used to it, but it is something that I accept and perhaps it is something that I prefer. And, it is not that I don't like people. During any given week I am out and mingling, mostly on
Sunday, but it does happen and I am perfectly okay with that. But the fact that my 'chosen' work isolates me a lot, well, I'm okay with that too. I have tried to look hard at myself on this 'alone' thing and I just don't feel 'alone'. There is this connection that I feel deep inside and although I really can't articulate it well the word 'connection' describes it because that's what it is. I feel connected to people, to family (especially to Sheila) and to something spiritual and beyond myself. Somehow, I also feel connected to myself (if that makes any sense) and 'complete' when I am properly engaged in my allotted work. If I take a moment to miss Sheila, I do feel her absence and I often go upstairs to sit and watch for her to return at the appointed time. But how can one so blessed be lonely?
Sunday, but it does happen and I am perfectly okay with that. But the fact that my 'chosen' work isolates me a lot, well, I'm okay with that too. I have tried to look hard at myself on this 'alone' thing and I just don't feel 'alone'. There is this connection that I feel deep inside and although I really can't articulate it well the word 'connection' describes it because that's what it is. I feel connected to people, to family (especially to Sheila) and to something spiritual and beyond myself. Somehow, I also feel connected to myself (if that makes any sense) and 'complete' when I am properly engaged in my allotted work. If I take a moment to miss Sheila, I do feel her absence and I often go upstairs to sit and watch for her to return at the appointed time. But how can one so blessed be lonely?
A lot of people feel alone even when they are surrounded by people. I think it is a pretty lonely world we live in. People don't really have to interact at all. I can't imagine how it used to be. When "everybody knew your name."
ReplyDelete