Time keeps moving right along.  I wish I could keep up with it, but I don't seem to be able to do that.  Haven't for years so I have stopped trying and so I just try to ignore it and to live in the moment (whatever that means).  Today was a bit of a different challenge because I had no idea of how to fill my time.  I still had part of my pile left so I just dove in and frankly I was surprised at how much there was for me to do.  And, in fact, there still is plenty to do.  The problem is that it is mostly busy work with much less chance of making any money out of it.  But it has to be done and I guess that is why it has been building up for such a long time while I had more timely work to capture my attention.  So I guess that today is a kind of a valuable day to catch up on stuff even though it isn't real productive stuff.  This week looks to be down quite a bit from the last couple of weeks and I would prefer it not be, but all I can do is accept what is and try hard to use my time for good things.  That is my purpose in doing this before 9 pm.  I want to get in some reading tonight and learn something good to feed my little gray cells and also edify my mind and heart. When I am able to do that I feel that my days are more worthwhile and it also does good things for my well being.  I am still trying to figure the answer to the question I posed last night about my cynicism.  This idea of self improvement is really a hard thing.  First I am finding it really hard to discover where I lack, because I am so good at hiding that, even from myself.  And second, once you have something it is just a hard thing to acquire of add or change just because it is.  But my time is running out.  I am 65.  As much as I always believed that I would live to see the millennium I'm not so sure anymore.  I have to be prepared for anything.  So as long as I am here I might just as well do something worthwhile.  I do know what is right and what is important I'm just not as good as it as I hope that I am tomorrow.