I was really quite disappointed last night.  On the drive home from Sherri's I realized that not only was I tired from being out past my bed time I was feeling very much the same as I have for the past 2 weeks plus.  I had written about getting better on Friday night and I believed that I was.  But all of that changed.  I even stayed home from church today.  I figured that my cough would keep me from singing so going to choir seemed out and I examined very carefully how my body felt and concluded that I was officially still sick.  I have the same conclusion right now.  I am beginning to think that I am allergic to 2011 and won't get any better until the year is done.  It is really disappointing to me.  For a time this afternoon Sheila and I sat in our bedroom with all of the blinds up and we talked while watching the birds fly into our back yard and take advantage of our water fall.  It was really quite strange because there would be waves of robins and then they would leave and another kind of bird would show up.  Then a third species would fly in and wash in the waterfall and drink in the pond and peck around on the grass.  It was as if they were organized.  A few magpies would come in whenever and 2 doves were there for awhile as if they didn't have to follow any schedule.  We discussed the end of this year and what we want for 2012.  It really felt strange talking about the end of this year and a whole new year that will start in under 2 weeks.  It will bring some interesting changes some that we have an idea about, and some that will come as surprises just as this year did.  Sheila will continue her job which has been a good thing for her.  That was a hard thing for me to accept, but I do, and feel it has been a good thing for a lot of reasons.  Of course, much of what we anticipate isn't for us.  Some things are, but with 40 plus of us that is a lot of lives being lived and a lot of new and different circumstances that we are connected too.  I have written many times about our future.  Not in any real and concrete terms, because I do not have it figured out. But there is something out there for us and we just have to find it.  A new year always enhances that kind of feeling.  So speculating about 2012 falls right into that.  What will 12 more months do to us.  Imagine me doing 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 56, 58, 59 and then 60 push ups one year from now.  Maybe we will be able to afford a new car then.  What callings my come our way in a year?  All of that makes me feel so tired.  In fact, right now with being so sick everything makes me feel tired.  So I guess my question should be:  will I ever be well again in 2012?  What will I call 'normal' in the coming 12 months.  And where will Nicholas end up for his mission?  There is just so much that we are looking forward to, but most of it is unknowable until it actually happens.  I guess that is one reason that life is interesting.  You just have to live it to see how the story is going to turn out.