I feel guilty that my Sunday wasn't more 'Sunday productive'.  We did go to stake conference and that even made it more so.  I dreamed of coming home and doing great amounts of church service on the computer.  Instead I spent some time with my wife and no 'church work'.  I almost took a nap and I let Sheila feed me the special lobster tail that she bought for me yesterday.  Now we have watched our show together and I am pretty much done for the day.  I will probably do little reading and my night routine, but for the most part my Sunday is done.  I feel like I should have done something more special, but I didn't.  That is not an unusual thing for me.  In fact, most days leave me feeling like I should have done something more then I did.  I wish that I could see that as a good thing, you know, high expectations and real results or something like that.  But it bothers me to think that I have left a lot of days unfulfilled.  I wonder if I am alone or if others feel that way some time.  Stake conference was good, and I felt touched and inspired and maybe a little inclined to forgive even myself, but it also goes the other way:  even higher expectations and lower tolerance of failure.  So the beat goes on.  I feel good, yet like so much more is expected of me with no way of understanding just what it is or how it is to be accomplished.  It is pretty normal for this Mormon boy to feel that way.  I believe the the gospel lends itself to that.  It is built in.  But that doesn't make it any easier to live with.  Maybe is is a way to make sure that humility is never very far away.  If so, that's good,  But I'd hope that the older I got the better I got.  It seems the opposite. I only hope I can live long enough to make up in some way for the things that I have left undone.  Doesn't seem like it though with the days accumulating the way that they are.  It would take eternity to do the job, but then that is just what I have, an eternity to do the job!