Today was all messed up.  I took my evening hours in the afternoon, and I spent more time in the evening working then relaxing.  I looked at my work and decided to rest, but then it all turned around when Richard got here around 4:30.  The drought was over.  All of a sudden I needed to go into a hyper-work mode because I finally had papers to turn into work to give to my guys.  So I put off dinner for w time and got stuff prepared.  It seems even more tiring to go from play to work then vice versa.  So I am really tired now and I don't get to sleep in in the morning.  Then I will be under the gun again because I'll have to get stuff prepared again with hopes of doing all I can until we leave for Cortney's next game at 2:30 in the afternoon.  Now I am feeling the pressure.  But its better to have the work and not get it all done right away then to not have enough and spend time trying to be productive outside of the office.  I did do that today.  I read and studied a lot, but I was glad to see the work finally show up.  My topsy turvy schedule did throw me a bit off of my game today.  I feel out of synch and like I have to force myself to do the work.  Tomorrow will be a challenge again.  It seems that Cortney's ball games take me far away to a better place, but they do end and reality does sneak its way back to the forefront.  And as much as I enjoy life I start to wonder about how it might be different one day.  I'm not complaining, but I figure that one day something better is going to come along.  It might not be in this life, but its out there.  And in my quiet moments I do wonder about it more and more as I get closer to it.