I just read Shelli's comment about my last post.  And I have to disagree with her.  She interpreted my ramblings and said that I was just feeling 'blah'.  Actually what I was feeling then and even a little still is much more complicated then that.  After Sheila read it we talked and she said that what I wrote would confuse anyone.  I was confused too and that's what I was trying to say.  Since then I have thought a lot about 'it' and I am still trying to figure it all out still.  But it has to do with certain strivings and spiritual 'verges' that start to make sense to me, but so hard for me to explain.  It wasn't clear from what I wrote, but I am feeling very good, but confused too.  I do spend a lot of time pondering on it and I feel like I am really being taught a lot.  Kind of like my head is being opened up and stuff is being poured into me and at such a rate that it takes time and effort to sort through it all.  It is actually quite exciting but very overwhelming.  Kind of like general conference for several days now but just for me and coming to me in a special, private way.  I judge it as quite a wonderful experience, but almost too much and too quickly.  And it is quite a tiring experience that continues both day and night.  (as if I am cramming for something, but I don't know what it is)  I'd like to write more about the daily stuff and work and things, but I go through them almost mechanically while at the same time absorb this 'stuff' that comes into my mind (soul) and the best way to describe it is to use the words in Alma:  'taste the light'.  It is 'good'.  It is 'delicious to the taste'.  It is just so much and so overwhelming that it does weight me down some.  But 'blah' no.  But Shelli thank you for you input.  And I hope that when I really understand it all I will be able to explain it to you.