If I exercise my memory muscle I can barely remember the days when I was a struggling student.  Yes, I did go to school, and no, it wasn't really much different from what our grand kids are facing today.  I made it through elementary, junior and senior high school, and then I took 5 years (minus two years for my mission) to become a graduate of BYU (and I have my diploma to prove it!).  There were times when I performed well, and times when I just made it through to make it through.  This morning I was deep in learning and felt like I have become a better student at this stage of my life then I was at any time during  my 'formal' student days.  You might say that that is all I have now that I am old and you might be right.  But learning is not only really important to me now, it is actually very, very edifying.  I can even say that it is really fun.  My subject lessons vary from day to day, but I believe that my 'tutor' is active in the lesson plans, and that they are designed just for me.  I also feel a bit of an urgency to learn what I am learning.  Like I am in the final semesters of my graduate work and that I need to finish my 'doctorate studies'.  It is really neat to be able to draw from so many years of experience and scripture study that comes together when I am considering the  new ideas that come to me.  I see that magnificent tapestry of truths that are so well connected.  There is such a unity and consistency of all that is good and right.  There is still much that I do not understand.  But I am able to come up with good questions and after much, much work at study and prayer and serious pondering I have been able to learn so much.  Right now most of you are just looking forward to getting out of the learning game and in to life.  But don't think that it ever really ends.  But it sure does get better. 

Last night I substituted doing the heavy lifting of emptying out the stairwell for my push ups.  That also replaced me driving the wife to Sharon's around 9 even though her two least favorite things were in play: driving in the dark and driving in the rain.  Thank you mate.  I also substituted writing on my blog for not writing on my blog.  I guess I replaced it with washing out the skimmer around 9:30.  After that I just went to bed.  That storm we experienced yesterday was pretty fierce, wasn' it?  I was able to suffer through it by just staying here at home, but then that is what I do every day.  Some days I appreciate my job more then on other days.  Sheila and I are still talking about the job that our family did for us on Monday.  It is a gift that keeps on giving.  We really appreciate your hard work.  I was glad to watch the Pacers defeat the Heat last night.  I seem to get more pleasure out of the Heat getting beat.  I thought about that and wonder if that is a sin.  Maybe I ought to be kinder and gentler.  But it was just so much fun to see.  Anyway, today is a new day.  I believe that I will have some time to my 'other life' today so I will devote some effort to a book that our home teachers finally delivered to us last night.  It has to do with one of my 'projects'.  And I will try to not feel guilty about taking the time to devote to it, that is, if I simply get my work-work done first and then go from there.  Maybe this not being retired retirement isn't so bad after all.  I am just trying to figure out just what it is that is expected of me.  This time and place of my life is still a bit of a conundrum.  I'm afraid to enjoy it too much figuring that I'm doing it wrong.  But then I am finding that it is such a perfect fit to my dream that I am coming around to it more.  I just need more time and especially more insight.  I will work on that.

I've just been sitting in front of my tv sort of watching some stuff.  But mostly resting because I am very tired after a lont holiday day.  Most of my fatigue came from watching our wonderful kids with a little help from their kids working on our yard.  They put in lots of hours and got so much stuff finished.  Both Sheila and I are very pleased not only with the actual tasks that they finished, but the fact that they would give us their time and effort to help out at all.  We both just marvel at the kind of people that the are.  It is such a pleasant time to be with them and to get so much hard work done too is just a great gift.  I mostly sat and watched grand kids and the newest edition to our family, Shelli's family new dog (new old dog) Toby.  For me, watching Jonah and Colton play so much and so well together was my biggest pay day.  I am so far removed from any mood to work that all I can do is vegetate and coast to the end of my day.  After a good night's sleep and a new focus job I will be ready to have a strong work day.  I will get back on track, but now it will be with so much good work done to the yard to enjoy and as they say" a happy wife makes for a happy life!" 

There are a lot of things that are hard for me to understand.  I see such strange behavior from virtually every one 'out there' and I scratch my head about how they behave.  But the thing that causes me the most bewilderment is actually my effort to try and understand myself.  Who am I and what am I doing?  I believe that the fact that I have turned my focus inward is actually a sign of significant improvement.  The idea of always looking outward to judge others is actually what you do before maturity and wisdom.  After time and experience you realize the foolishness of focusing on 'them, or everyone else' and finally turn you efforts inward.  After all, none of us are judged good or bad because of the way some one else behaves.  And just that change of focus is a significant leap of progress.  Once accomplished though doesn't make the 'inward understanding task' a piece of cake.  It still requires serious thought and time and effort to 'know thyself'.  But can be a fascinating journey of discovery.  And interestingly the effort to understand yourself does make the understanding of others more and better as well.  Now, I want to make this one point very clear:  All of this is very connected to the 'gospel'.  In fact, the gospel is actually the key to all understanding.  And I have come to the point where any effort of mine to understand more is really quite a pleasure and a joy.  I may not be able to run and jump as I once did, but I can run, leap and soar in my spirit and my mind and  my heart.  And that is exercise that I very  highly recommend.

Yesterday felt a little bit like I was stranded here at home.  Sheila got home from her shift at the school and soon was off to tend down at Shauni's and didn't get home until about 7:30.  Since we are a one car family I was content to just be here at home.  I did have to recover from my two ball game outing the day before and I was also quite busy still considering that lesson that was taught to me with my experience with Cortney.  As I wrote my work load was on the downside so I knew that I would have time to fill in order to have a good day, so I did try to keep busy working on my upcoming priesthood lesson and my 'other' study project.  I was also watching for my 'win' since I really knew that things would pick up and I figured that Wednesday would be a good day for that to happen.  It would have been nice to have been able to attend the other ball games that Cortney played in (they won the 1st and lost the 2nd) but I chose to support my wife in her support of our daughter and to make my good productive in other ways.  I did do that and I was also pleased to see some of the other things happen to bring me work and money which in my other world is needed.  My Thursday will now be dramatically different because I have much to do with paper work and bookkeeping and I don't see much opportunity to do some of the other important to me stuff that I did yesterday.  (I saw that I have succeeded in fooling Cicily.)  Hard to grasp that its already the 23rd of May!  My life has certainly turned into a weird and wonderful challenge.  So, Thursday, bring it on!!! 

I had a lesson that I was trying to teach come back to me.  Yesterday I went to both of Cortney's softball games.  They ended up winning both, but only with the final play of the game in the the inning.  The first game had the other team being the home team batting last and starting the inning down a couple of runs.  Things did not go well for our Lakers and the other team scored and was down by only one run with a runner on third when the game ended on a pop up to the first base 'person'.  I told Cortney that she needed to enjoy such a situation because that's the kind of deal you practice for.  Then in the 2nd game our team was the home team and it still came down to the last at bat.  The score was tied and Cortney had drawn a walk and was sacrificed to 2nd base.  With two outs her teammate hit the ball to the 'grass' and Cortney scored from 2nd base to end the game.  I told her basically the same thing after that game: to have fun in the pressure.  I found myself in a similar circumstance looking at my work and situation and feeling pressure about what needed to happen for me.  My own words to Cortney came rushing back to me.  What I would teach her was teaching me.  It is a humbling thing to realize that a lesson you try to teach to someone else is just what you need yourself.  I have tried this morning as I evaluate, plan and go forward into this new day to practice what I preached.  I'm happy that it went well for my grand daughter and I know that it will go well for me.  I just have to put the fretting away and learn how to enjoy the moment even though it might not be the circumstance that I would have ordered. 

Now that's what I call a good day.  I am able to meet my worldly goal stuff with minimal effort but also choose to do some 'better' stuff (related to family) that ends up adding so much more to my day.  Right now my work is a bit on the down side so I do have time to read and study (I do have that priesthood lesson coming up this Sunday). And I changed my mind about attending Linzi's choir concert last night.  Sheila was involved with service of her own, so I chose to attend on my own.  It ended up being a very good choice.  Not only was the music very nice, I had a special moment with my grand daughter which repaid me many times over for the effort to be there.  This old grumpa was actually 'touched' and it still lingers as I remember the evening.  I do so get caught up in this worldly stuff sometimes.  I need to not do that.  And today I get another opportunity to choose well.  Cortney's softball team has a game this afternoon and I plan to be there too.  Once again Sheila will probably not be able to be there due to her very important service otherwise, but I expect a similar payback to what  I had last night.  I believe that I am finally starting to understand this business of life.  Good thing!  I've been at it long enough!  The news reflects what is going on in the world and it is not wonderful stuff.  I can and do feel for my brothers and sisters, but I also am so grateful for what is going on in our lives.  As much as we mourn for them we do owe it to Father to enjoy what we have.  And when we can help we must do so.  But there is so much we should be doing in our own small circle of influence that we can be kept quite busy.  If I had more I would do more, but I will do what I can do with both time and assets.  That seems to be all that we are asked to do.

My busy Sunday, which actually got busier is now over and I am able to sort of relax as I begin the 'work-week'.  I had planned on doing some home teaching sometime during Sunday and I did get one visit in.  But I had not remembered that there was this Seminary graduation scheduled Sunday night.  With Colton and Linzi involved we had to go.  That just helped fill up the day so I couldn't get into much trouble and finished of well what had been a pretty fulfilling day.  Add that to the temple on Saturday night and it made for something quite special.  All week I had been preparing for my lesson.  It seemed to go well and I have put it behind me figuring that it was very important to me at the time, but now the time has changed.  I do have a priesthood lesson this coming Sunday to prepare for, but yesterday's lesson did rate a little higher for  me because of the setting.  However, I will prepare just the same and hopefully enjoy similar results.  And now I will try to change my focus to 'work' and try to be productive with my time.  I just looked at the calendar for this week and see only Cortney's softball game tomorrow.  A blank schedule never turns out to be truly blank and I expect this week will be the same.  Stuff will show up and I will also endeavor to keep busy and productive.  When I think about it I remember just how many tasks that I could address with my time.  Makes me tired just thinking about it.  And when I really think about it I can find so much that I do not do that I should be doing.  There have been times when I felt like I had too much time, but not now.  I fail to use what I have the way that I should and I am trying to get better at that.  I do realize that my time is truly not my own.  I made that choice long ago and I still am struggling to deal with it.  But it was a good choice.  I believe that my priorities are correct so I just need to get my efforts in line.  Don't know everything that this day will bring.  Never do.  But then that is part of the appeal of the day.  I'm still up for a good surprise (and I hope that I don't regret that statement later today!).

I sat down to write.  And 'my song' came on my link.  You know: "Think not when you gather to Zion".  It is my life's theme song.  I put in a lot of effort several months ago to memorize it and it has added to me numerous times since that effort.  I recommend it to all of you.  You can look it up for yourself or I will be glad to sing (give) it to you.  It has the answers to the whole range of questions that pester us.  It's truths have really added to my repertoire and I find it coming to my aid often.  

My last two evening have been busy with family duties.  Wednesday was Colton's birthday get-together and last night was a dance recital for Linzi.  Both events brought me warm fuzzies   and considerable ponderings about what is important in my own private world of concern.  Today is Sherri's birthday.  It adds to both.  We talked about that last night.  43 !!  Boy, somebody is getting older!

 Add all of that to my serious preparation for my lesson this coming Sunday and I am deep in thought most of the day.  Considering all of this serious gospel/family stuff I can only be astonished at my (our) life situation.  I find myself dealing with the downturn of my physicality while at the same time the upturn of my spirituality.  It is an interesting conundrum.   Can't change it so I just accept it and work it out the best I can.  But I am finding that it is actually a pretty exciting stage for me.  I still feel that there is something more to be discovered and the fact that I know not what bothers me, but the journey is becoming quite intriguing for me.  And mostly because I am realizing in a most amazing way that I do not travel alone, but have all of you as companions, and that makes it all the more special and intriguing for  me. 

Here I am again.  It seems that my routine is to not have a routine.  I went for a couple of days without writing and now its two in a row first thing in  my morning.  We got home later after an evening out and I was tired.  I had enough to do before sleep so I put it off.  I didn't give it much thought again until I got down here and felt this obligation to something to do this.  As I reflect on my yesterday (Monday) I recollect that much effort was given to my upcoming substitute lesson.  It worked out that I had some time to invest in it and I actually worked hard and seriously pondered on the subject of priesthood keys.  I felt edified and even through the night and earlier this morning I felt inspiration about the subject.  Funny how that works.  It is like discovering something.  I 'see' it so much more then I did and it is an amazing feeling.  I only hope that I can continue and ever remember it all so it will be there for me come Sunday.  I'm trying to go through all of the proper attitudes and rules of being a good teacher and reflect what I know and what Elder Nick wrote about in his latest e-mail home.  You know, about teaching the people.  I've always tried to do that.  I have my own unique way of doing it; a 'gift' as Sheila (and others) have told me.  I surprise myself as to how much it means to me to have another opportunity to do that this week, in this gospel doctrine setting.  Right now there is so much going on in our lives.  It is a constant effort just to manage my managing.  So much has to be left undone and so many choices need making as to how I spend my time.  Every day I seem to fall short in those kinds of decisions.  And what weighs upon me is that I feel that somehow it is only going to get more difficult to manage.  I need to get better at it faster then is comfortable.  On the other hand I am excited about what I see as progress on my path towards what is ahead.  My body tries to weigh me down, but my spirit sees this as a great time in my life.  It is a wonderful time for me.  Now I just need to learn how to tolerate my unwilling flesh and it would be almost perfect.

So, come Saturday I figure that I have a little bit of making up to do.  A new furnace just doesn't give off romantic birthday and mother's day vibes.  (does it?)  So, along with lots of normal Saturday type errands that need our attention we try to celebrate some knowing that that play "Thread's" will end our day in a very nice way.  So I muddle around in the office and she goes grocery shopping and we leave about 4:30 to go to Archibald's for dinner.  We take our time and I make sure that we have plenty of time to be early at Cottonwood High School for the play.  We do end up standing in line for a while, but it only adds to our anticipation which when finally fulfilled is met and exceeded.  The event was really a wonderful and fast hour and 1/2.  Sheila will speak for herself, but for me I really enjoyed it.  It touched me in many positive ways.  What they were trying to do was show different women and their contributions to those around them and make a positive statement about how women (and all of us) can and do influence others in our own unique way.  From little girls to great grandmothers and all in between real life was shown and we related to it all.  It was every women (and every man) presented in real life ways, but showing it all in a most positive way.  I felt real good about my decision to do that for her (us).  On Sunday Sheila had her primary class make fruit pizzas for their mothers. She was teaching 'obedience' (following directions) but mostly trying to have them be interested in something neat and also do something nice for their mothers.  During the block I was asked to sub in Gospel Doctrine next week and that has filled not only much of my Sunday, but my thoughts as I try to prepare for that opportunity.   After the block our day was pretty quiet and relaxing.  She did get a few phone calls and we watched a Harry Potter movie.  And the ward actually gave out a really nice Mother's Day gift that you'll have to ask about.  I did spend some of my Sunday realizing how old I am and wanting to be able to do more.  That lesson that I am now preparing made a big difference for me in that.  I am now full of ideas and hopefully a neat spirit as I work and study to prepare for that.  So now its Monday morning.  We are 'back' to our work-day demands.  The week is really quite busy and has many things waiting for us.  Don't know just how we'll be able to do it all, but we'll do our best.  I am still trying to figure out just how to do this right, you know, life, the journey, the test.  I know where we are going, but the getting there is still challenging me every step of the way.

Last night got so hectic that I just decided to not write.  But I am here in my office before 7 so I can afford the time, and I have some feelings that I would like to express.  Today we will be having a new furnace installed.  (She won't let it be a birthday present though!)  We had planned for a furnace check-up and ended up buying into a whole new thing.  What he said made sense and our's is a 1994 model and Sheila has been concerned with our power bills for quite a while.  Anyway, that is not really the story for today.  The story is that it is her birthday, and my feelings for her, my wife and best friend.  Not only did we spend a couple of hours with the 'furnace man', Sheila had her Relief Society 'five minute talk' and when she finally got home after 10 I was anxious to sit down with her and hear how it went.  Short story-it went wonderfully!  She turned the whole meeting and got warm fuzzys from the sisters.  I went over to the church then and found 4 sisters still there and they expressed that same sentiment for me to tell Sheila for them.  I have been pondering on her ideas during the night.  It is a wonderful and quite sophisticated truth about the 'sweet peace' that comes from the 'gospel'.  I was happy to be taught by her wisdom.  Now here it is, her birthday.  Hopefully the tearing out and installing in won't be too disruptive, and my plans for her birthday will please her.  As we discussed this whole new furnace thing we see it as another part of a wonderful 'divine signature' that we have received.  All of the great truths she spoke of last night are very real in our lives right now.  It seems a very special time for us.  I know that mere words are inadequate and my actions need to express the truth of my feelings even moreso, but to say it still very important  So Sheila, my wife, my cobber, my partner, my 'co-experienced warrior':  I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

I hadn't really thought about what the day might bring.  I just got up and got going figuring that it would take care of itself.  I knew that the 'pond cleaners' would be coming, but I didn't think  of what that would mean for me.  I figured that I wouldn't spend any time out there watching and helping.  I would leave that to them, but I knew that I would end up filling it back up later on when they finished.  As it turned out I sat out there until 8:30 when I finished and cleaned out the skimmer for what I hope will be the last time for a while.  We both like it so much better when it is clean.  We know it won't last all year, but it is good to have it that way for now.  They hit Sheila's 'budget time constraints' right on and were gone in 3 hours.  We did have to interrupt the refill for a while because of that call we got about the call he got.  Didn't plan on it, but when we were told that Colton had received 'the' letter and would be opening it @ 6:30 we changed out plans and were there.  So I finished up the pond job when we got back home.  Oh yes, he was call to serve in Peru!  It was a nice announcement party, short and sweet.  Sheila still has her 'Robert' run and I have my walk to and around the church yet to go.  With all that has gone on I feel like I missed some time connecting me with the day.  Looks like I'll do that when I am able to relax and end my day.  I'm talking about just closing out the world and pondering on my place and my time.  Kind of a perspective practice run, if you know what I mean.  Once I get today all sorted I'll take a breath and then focus on tomorrow.  I was able to close out a week and get lots of smaller tasks done today so I will be quite pleased with myself when I get around to digesting what as taken place.  But then it will be time to move on, that is, sleep and wake up having moved on to Thursday, my next big adventure.  What can it possible have in store for us?

It really changes my day when it is my month to lock up the church.  Otherwise I would probably be in bed about now.  As it is I am doing this and then walking over to the church.  On Tuesdays I need to wait and hope that I get there after things are over and they are all gone.  On Wednesdays I usually find a meeting going on that does go on past my bedtime so I just lock it up anyway.  Last night I was able to go over around 5 and called it good because no one should have come in to the building on a Monday night.  Sheila is about to leave to go to Sharon's and then to give Robert a ride home.  I figure that I will still be up when she gets home around 15 to 11, or at least finishing up my routine so we can have our prayer and then go to bed.  I am a bit surprised that I am still feeling awake.  I guess I live acording to a rhythm and that rhythm comes from what the day brings of requires.  So tonight 'it' requires me to be up this late so my body accommodates me.  I always know that I can sleep in if I need to, but then I never do at this stage of my life.  I do find that strange because I figure it should be the time for lounging, but I actually like getting up early (a relative term, I know) and getting busy in my office.  If I need to nap I am able to do that most anytime throughout the day and usually in the afternoon.  This morning Robert showed up and did some work on our pond.  Tomorrow the pros are coming to give it its spring cleaning.  They cost $65.00 an hour per man so Sheila does her best to limit that cost by her and me (mostly her) helping our and this year with having Robert do what he did this morning.  It did create a need for me to clean out the skimmer several times today and probably more through the night,  But if it goes like it has in years past by tomorrow night we will actually have a clean pond with clear water and little yuckiness requiring constant cleaning.  And if the weather ever turns into summer I may be able to sit out there and actually watch the fish some just to relax.  But as I have stated several times recently, I am different, and that really doesn't appeal to me much.  But a clean pond will be nice, and a lot less work.  Well, Sheila has gone off on her errands and it it time for me to walk over to the church and do my calling.

It won't make up for the times that I have missed, but I kind of look at it like repenting.  You don't have to try to make up for your lack. You just start over and if done properly it can be as if you never missed.  So I will write for the 2nd time today to try to re-establish my routine.  At least I can say that by 'doing' Monday I am back into my routine.  The day wasn't anything special.  I 'won' a little and I lost a little.  But I am still alive and I have hope.  I couldn't always say that.  But in my old age I feel like I have won a lot more times then I have lost and I have started to see a little bit of progress in it all.  I see that the 'negs' are just part of life.  You can't get away from them.  And you must battle them every day as long as you are still around.  I am getting pretty good at it, and like I said:  I do win more often then I lose.  I know that I get tired more then ever before, and I could have gone to bed a couple of hours ago.  But it seems sensible that I try to stick to my routine, at least a little bit.  And I know that this week will provide some better 'wins' later on.  I am especially thinking about Sheila's birthday on Friday and then our 'date' on Saturday.  I am also hoping that I can actually pay myself some money some time soon, which means that I write the check to me, but then it goes right to 'her' and she takes care of our needs from there.  She is waiting patiently to get some bills paid and are looming on the horizon.  But we've made it this far and we'll probably make it again, hopefully tomorrow or the next day.  If I had my druthers my life would be some different.  But I am trying to just accept things the way that they are.  I'm not 24 or 34 or even 44.  I'm 66 and that comes with some good things and it comes with some bad things.  I wish that I didn't have that stroke on 02/02/02, but I did.  And that won't change in this lifetime.  Over the weekend I thought that it was getting worse, but it was temporary so I am pretty much back to my abnormal.  So that along with my 'lasic' will have to wait for the resurrection and although I can live with hope I still have to live.  So 'it is what it is' and I am what I am.  That can change (very slowly) and I expect that it will. And those changes are what I am working on and anticipating and my reason for being here.  But the changes that come with Act Three will really be something for all of us.  Won't they?

I am suprized and disappointing as I sit down to write.  It is now 7:21 on the morning of May 6th.  I notice that my last entry was way back last Wednesday the 1st of May.  I could spend time trying to figure out what happened.  But it really doesn't matter.  I just let it go.  I didn't plan on it not happening.  It just did.  So move on and live with it.  I do know that a lot has happened in those 4 days.  I was really concerned with our p i liability insurance after the tax audit seemed to be resolved.  That also got resolved on Friday.  That night we ordered take-out (on our dime!) and we ate that 'feast' all the way into Sunday.  On Saturday I actually did get my old body working made headway on our project to clean out the storage room and get boxes of stuff out of this room and stored away 'neatly'.  That along with watching the 2 BYU national championship contests pretty much filled my day.  (they won the rugby match and lost the volleyball match)  Sheila helped out (a lot) in our storage room project, but spent lots of her day getting ready for our Sunday family get together.  On Sunday I did have time to work in a nap, but that was about it.  The block from 9-12 and a stake priesthood meeting at 3:30 and then the family descended before dinnertime and stayed until around 9.  It was a very busy day, and  a very wonderful day as well.  The kids took the opportunity to give Sheila a 'house shower' for her birthday (Thursday) and for Mother's Day (next Sunday).  It was total chaos for those 4 hours.  Sheila took opportunity to show Shauni the nearly empty pot which had been filled with the fixings for the Hawaiian Haystacks.  This family sure can put away a lot of food!  Amid all of that I have been pondering quite deeply thought that came to me at the priesthood meeting.  It was a very emotional experience for  me.  I had lots of deep feeling and thoughts that I have been studying on since.  They all play into our general conundrum of our stage of life and what it is that we ought to be doing with ourselves.  I really can't explain much, but I do have this sense of an underlying move of something.  I have no idea what or when or how.  It just seems to be there.  So for now we will be content to just take life as it comes and wait to see what might come along, if anything.  So much to do, so much to learn, so much that is just beyond the light waiting to enter in to our lives.

I just went outside to clean the skimmer and it struck me that it is way too cold to be the 1st day of May.  I really haven't been outside much, but the few short times were too chilly for me.  I still carry this faith that warm weather will arrive eventually and I see me complaining about the heat then.  I can't figure which I would rather complain about the most.  Maybe it just the 'other' extreme which ever happens to be present.  But there is little else to complain about for today.  It has been quite pleasant in all other ways.  I have been very busy, very productive and very happy with the present state of things.  We even won a battle with R C Willey over a charge on our account that they messed up on.  It involved the two of us on the phone, mostly Sheila talking to them.  She even ended up callling the sales person that sold us the stuff before they finally got it right.  Of course I am still flying high after my experience with the IRS yesterday.  Today we wrote out the check and mailed it off, so it did cost us some thing and therefore wasn't a perfect outcome.  But my imaginary monsters were not realized.  Life won't be an easy game though, because there are still (Sheila's favorite word:) vicissitudes out there waiting their turn.  But we are experienced warriors and anticipate victory, or at least a reasonable imitation.  It is only 8:06, but I am content to leave my office and start my day ending routine.  I will be content to ponder out the rest of my time and then sit down in my 'chair/bed' under a warm quilt and enjoy the satisfaction of a good day, and contemplate on the good things that have come our way.  I will fret over the 'comeuppance' from Nicholas.  We have been slackers when it comes to our letter writing.  We resolve to do better.  I had thought that he read this blog and therefore I didn't need to write.  Guess that isn't the case.  Again, we resolve to do better.  Still have lots on my mind.  So much to think about, so much to do.  And the same 24 hour days as always.  I need to figure out a way to make it all work.  Any ideas?  Wee, I'm cold and I'm tired, and I'm content to call it a day.  That warm quilt really appeals to me.