It won't make up for the times that I have missed, but I kind of look at it like repenting.  You don't have to try to make up for your lack. You just start over and if done properly it can be as if you never missed.  So I will write for the 2nd time today to try to re-establish my routine.  At least I can say that by 'doing' Monday I am back into my routine.  The day wasn't anything special.  I 'won' a little and I lost a little.  But I am still alive and I have hope.  I couldn't always say that.  But in my old age I feel like I have won a lot more times then I have lost and I have started to see a little bit of progress in it all.  I see that the 'negs' are just part of life.  You can't get away from them.  And you must battle them every day as long as you are still around.  I am getting pretty good at it, and like I said:  I do win more often then I lose.  I know that I get tired more then ever before, and I could have gone to bed a couple of hours ago.  But it seems sensible that I try to stick to my routine, at least a little bit.  And I know that this week will provide some better 'wins' later on.  I am especially thinking about Sheila's birthday on Friday and then our 'date' on Saturday.  I am also hoping that I can actually pay myself some money some time soon, which means that I write the check to me, but then it goes right to 'her' and she takes care of our needs from there.  She is waiting patiently to get some bills paid and are looming on the horizon.  But we've made it this far and we'll probably make it again, hopefully tomorrow or the next day.  If I had my druthers my life would be some different.  But I am trying to just accept things the way that they are.  I'm not 24 or 34 or even 44.  I'm 66 and that comes with some good things and it comes with some bad things.  I wish that I didn't have that stroke on 02/02/02, but I did.  And that won't change in this lifetime.  Over the weekend I thought that it was getting worse, but it was temporary so I am pretty much back to my abnormal.  So that along with my 'lasic' will have to wait for the resurrection and although I can live with hope I still have to live.  So 'it is what it is' and I am what I am.  That can change (very slowly) and I expect that it will. And those changes are what I am working on and anticipating and my reason for being here.  But the changes that come with Act Three will really be something for all of us.  Won't they?