I am not alone tonight.  Sheila got back this afternoon after Logan and company got home from the hospital after a successful surgery.  Sheila did tell me that he walked into the house like he had just completed a very long horse back ride!  But he had a smile on his face, and things are looking up for him.  Tomorrow should be as good for Shelli when she gets her shunt (?) removed. My tomorrow should be a busy, busy day as the last week plus have been.  I am noticing a change for the better in my routine.  It feels good and I am so thankful.  I hope that it continues.  But somehow I am enjoying it differently then I did once upon a time.  I remember the slow times more and I am aware of others who suffer more, and it has made me more aware.  It really does feel different.  Hard to explain though, but very real to me.  It is an emotion that I am having a hard time finding words for.  I just know that I am changed.  It really seems to me that I am a different person.  Maybe when I get Sheila to read this she can tell me what she thinks and the two of us may be able to figure it all out better then I have been able to so far.