I continue to find that I am my own worst enemy.  Sure, I can think of a lot of things to blame on others or circumstances or life, but mostly I am responsibility for my own life.  So if I sleep my way through the day it is mostly my own fault.  And if I fail to do all that I can do it is my fault.  So my day returns to me what I give it.  Yet I find that I still end up ahead because there are good things that touch me even when I don't actually receive them.  They just happen and I have learned to be thankful that it isn't an exact quid pro quo in my life.  I am smart enough to know the source of it all and I do express my gratitude not only to Him but to others, especially my wife that this phenomenon exists.  I am so far behind that if it were a financial thing I'd have declared bankruptcy long ago.  But it is just the way that it is in life.  All of us get much, much more then we give.  And I am no exception.  And right now I see it and can only weakly try to move forward and pay back.  I know that that is impossible, but I need to do more and better.  I just need to.  Maybe tomorrow I can and will.