Well, yesterday was disappointing, but today was downright crappy!  I made it through the night okay and I even did my 45 last night and this morning.  But my shoulder starting hurting later on in the morning and the pain took me out of my game.  I did take 3 of Sheila's pain pills and it did help it feel better, but I was so concerned about the pain that I was paralyzed.  I was so aware of the possibility of the pain that I just sat, trying not to move my arm, and doing nothing.  It really depressed me to just sit and anticipate the pain that did come every once in a while, but would also go away some too.  It ruined my day, and then I made it worse by being critical of my own behavior.  It was like a major episode of depression.  It actually made me feel ill.  So here I am looking at more of the same and almost ready to throw in the towel for the whole week.  So much is weighing down on me and my state of mind is leaning to giving up rather then getting back.  But the full moon did look beautiful coming up over the mountains and my beautiful companion is still here giving me love and support, so just maybe tomorrow can turn me around.  I know that feeling negative is one thing, but I usually then feel guilty about feeling negative, so I have to have a good talk with myself and work on both of those.   I am anxious to see what I end up writing tomorrow night.