I do know all of the right things to say, especially the right things to say to myself.  But sometimes you feel things so powerfully that knowing the right things doesn't seem to help.  This life can be plain painful at times.  One thing I have learned about that though is that the pain isn't always for yourself.  In fact, most of it is for someone else, especially family.  And the thing that makes that kind of pain even more painful is that it comes with a feeling of such helplessness.  There is such a desire to do something, yet so little that you can actually do.  But that still doesn't make it hurt less.  There is a scripture that comes to mind that says something like:  'oh that I were an angel'.  But then is goes on to teach that we need to learn how to accept things the way that they are, if not outright be content with our lot in life.  There's that 'furnace' thing again.  And I guess that we can't have it be a 'furnace' without the reality of the heat that comes with it.  Pain is real.  Hurt is inevitable.  Suffering is simply built into the plan.  Get used to it.  Accept that fact, and learn how to deal with it the best way that you can and never forget the 'so what section' (D & C 122).  And also remember that it will be over one day, and Heavenly Father really is in charge and all this really is designed to be a blessing to us, eventually!!