I have a hard time figuring myself out.  I wonder if I'm more normal that way, or if somehow I am really, really different.  But Sundays do something to me that often times is not comfortable.  I'm am feeling that right now.  Here I am near the end of the day, and I do not want Monday to come.  But I am not very crazy about right now either.

Earlier today was okay.  It was nice to get back to our ward after a week off, and coming home to just Sheila and I for a quiet day seemed really good.  But as the day has passed I am feeling negative about myself and I don't really understand why.  I am trying hard to examine me and figure out what is going on inside, but all I can tell is that it is really a bit of an unpleasant feeling.  It is not really new.  I have experienced this on Sundays before.  In fact, for a long time it was pretty much the norm.  I couldn't understand it then and I can't understand it now.  It is going to require a lot more study and introspection, and who know, maybe I never will find a satisfactory answer.  Perhaps the fact that I feel like I never got last week closed off because Richard did not come back after leaving the office on Friday morning is part of it.  I feel unsettled about where I am.  So that should pass by tomorrow as I expect that he will show up and I can settle that situation in my mind.  I know that it is related to Sunday being Sunday, but the why of it all still eludes me.  So maybe it will go away as Sunday goes away and I won't be able to study it out because it will be gone and replaced with Monday and that brings its own new set of parameters and feelings.   So I may have to wait until next Sunday and see if it happens again.