As I get to me old I take more seriously the time that I have to reflect on things.  It seems to be harder and harder to recall some stuff because I have been accumulating it for so long.  So along with the volume of stuff I do occasionally suffer a brain cramp due to old age.  But one subject that is becoming more and more clear to me is the importance of my relationship with my wonderful wife.  I hesitate to use some of the conventional words because the seem so inadequate in describing it.  We talk about us and have a lot of the same feelings and conclusions.  But it is more indescribable then describable.  Besides, we know that what we say is only valid when it is consistent with what we do.  I am still working on that part by trying to 'do' as well as I might 'say'.  My feeling for my partner have only gotten better and deeper and more in the years since the summer of 1968 when we met.  (re-met)  I am beginning to understand just how much I am impacted by being part of this team.  It is at the heart of who I am, what I want and what lies ahead.  It does bother me when I examine the reality and see how far I am from the way that she deserves that I be.  But at the same time it motivates me and is my 'raison d'ete'.  (That is French for 'reason to be'.)  What I am trying to say in simple terms is that I am so very blessed to be married to my Sheila.  I see that over our almost 42 years we have both grown, me especially, and truly are 'one' in the most special, spiritual and real sense.  And it makes my life one of joy, peace and contentment along with magnificent frustration considering the time, opposition and energy it requires.  I have kidded her and told her that she was 'high maintenance'.  By that I mean that she absolutely deserves everything I can become.  And despite my weaknesses my purpose is to be that for her.  Last week for her anniversary Shelli stole my line when she wrote that her life started when she and Phil were married.  I have been singing that to Sheila since the day that we met and I realized that I had found the 'treasure'.  We may be still fumbling in our efforts to figure out this new stage of life that we are in, but we certainly are committed to do it together.  Yes, Yes I'll write it:  Sheila I love you.