I've had some really strange feelings lately.  Its been going on for, let's see, since about last Friday.  The funny part is that I can't figure out why I feel like I do, but it is something really good.  I feel this bond to my wife like I have not done before, and I also have this sense of good that I can't explain.  I've been thinking hard on it and I can't seem to find any particularly reason that I should be feeling that much better then I have before.  I mean, life is good, but not that much better then it has been.  And I do feel like I have made some progress in certain areas of my character but nothing particular that I can see doing this to me.  It's certainly a real thing.  I think the right word is 'palpable'.  Yes, I just looked up the definition and it is the right word.  The most interesting thing about it is that it feels like a reward and I don't see anything particular that I would be rewarded for.  Not that kind of a reward.  I surely am not complaining about it.  I would be a fool so to do.  I just am curious about why now, and why me and why anyway. The thing about me feeling this way is that it does put great pressure on me to behave in line with this wonderful feeling.  I find myself wanting to do more and be better at doing it.  I want to find greater strength and simply be a better person.  I need to pay for or pay back for this 'thing' going inside of me.  It's right there in my special feeling place this palpable sense of goodness which can be described with many different positive words like serenity, joy, satisfaction, communion, love and happiness.  I hope I don't chase it away. I do feel like I need to understand it though.  Right now it is a mystery to me, but I will enjoy it while it is here and try to figure out what it is and how to keep it.  I do hope that I can learn enough about it that I will be able to share it, because that is what it seems to be about.  But first I need to be able to understand what and why it is.  Stay tuned.