I wonder if it is fair that I count today as day # 2.  There was no wrestling on to not watch, but I felt my decision applied on a much broader scale, so I am trying to limit my total TV watching time and avoid stuff that really doesn't contribute much. With that explanation I will count today because I did control the hours and I turned it off at 8 and did some small work and now I am actually ending my day.  I talked with Sheila when she got home from  her last shift at the temple and I explained how hard it was for me to enter in to this new 'whatever it is' of mine.  I feel lost and a bit intimidated as if I am in a new college course that is introducing me to a subject  that is way over my head.  Maybe it isn't necessarily a bad thing to feel like that, but it is a surprise to me that I do.  I just have to deal with stuff that I thought I had out grown a long time ago.  Writing that though I see that figuring that I have out grown growing is a proud thing and it goes against the grain of what I know.  After  all don't we count  continuing to learn as central to who we are and who we want to become?  So I need to give myself a bit of a lecture and see this for the opportunity that it is.  I have wanted the 'hard' stuff so now that it is here I can't wish it away.  I have to embrace it and take advantage of the opportunity that I have been virtually looking for all of my life.  Hopefully, after a while I will get comfortable with this as I have with so many other things in my life that at first were uncomfortable, but eventually became second nature.  I don't expect being old means being dead!