It seems that I always have stuff in mind that I want to accomplish during the day that I never get to.  I have learned to settle for less a long, long  time ago.  Usually it doesn't bother me, but sometimes I figure that I could have easily gotten more done then I did so some guilt does start to settle in.  Then I carry on a discussion with myself about whether I am being too hard on myself or too easy with myself.  Yesterday I really did make some progress in pondering that I accurately  described as 'the quantum physics of pondering'.  I felt like I did make some progress or at least a start at trying to understand stuff that seems real deep stuff.  And as much as I figure I did move forward, everything that I thought about and every question that I asked myself never did move much out of that 'fuzzy' zone.  Seem that things can be much more complicated then I thought when I take the time to examine them on that kind of a level.  When my world distracts me from that task I devote my attention to what is at hand, but it does keep calling me back as if it is now some kind of an obsession.  I've never been obsessed over something before, but this does feel like it is a good obsession.  But I realized that I have to leave it most of the time for the things that matter most at that moment.  But I have high hopes that I am on to something and it is important to keep questioning and keep wrestling with these 'meaty', deep concepts that seem to be calling out to me.  I have experienced this 'level jumping' before like when I all of a sudden started to listen to classical music.  I can't explain it, but I know that I am different on one day compared to the way I was the day before.  It is such a strange thing to me, but it does seem to be the way that I need to travel now, at this stage of my life. Is it an illusion or am I actually just growing?