Today has drastically changed my week.  I knew that there would be some new work come in, but when Richard finally arrived it was even better then I had supposed.  But now I change into my Dr. Jeckle and start to create imaginary monsters about how hard I am going to have to work tomorrow and probably for the rest of the week.  It comes in waves.  Some weeks are down and this week will be up.  Some days I fret over trying to keep myself busy and productive and this week I'll be looking for ways to slow down and rest.  At least I have Wednesday now to prepare for Thursday.  I will have to get Richard outfitted for tomorrow, but my deadline for most of the work is Thursday morning when Marv and Jim will show up.  Funny, how human it is (at least for me) to want something and then when you get it you almost wish that it hadn't happened.  

Today I heard something on the radio (computer Classical 89 from K-BYU) that struck me.  The guy asked the question whether this person was a big fish in a little pond or a little fish in a big pond sort of a person.  I remember my dad asking me that same question when I was a teenager.  I thought about it and I real don't know how I would answer it now (nor did I know then either).  Seems to me like my pond isn't a pond at all.  Its just me, so my size really isn't relevant.  I'm talking about my 'work me' that sits in my office all day with little contact with the outside world.  Some times that bothers me and sometimes it seems I figure that I made a choice a long time ago that simply 'is what it is' and I am happy to live with it.  (Since not being happy about my own choice is really stupid and really outside my circle of influence now. What with all that is with Nicholas right now it makes me wonder about the choices that I have made these 64 years.  I wonder how it might have been.  But the only question that really is important is:  how might it be?